I DON’T KNOW how to reconcile the fact that, at one point in my life, I genuinely loved Limp Bizkit. The summer between eighth and ninth grade, I—without a shred of shame or irony—fucking WORE OUT Significant Other. Wes Borland was the ferryman who transported me across the River Styx, from middle school to high school, past Cerberus, who wore three backward New York Yankees hats atop his three soul-patched heads.
I had different eras of appreciation for that album. Starting, of course, with “Nookie,” which I honestly didn’t know was a euphemism for vagina. (The fact that cookie was ALSO another word for vagina was years beyond my understanding. Why is “ookie” associated with female anatomy? How does this affect our understanding of The Addams Family? IS THAT WHY SCUMMY DUDES ON THE MAX WEAR COOKIE MONSTER HATS?) “Nookie” does not hold up, at all. Not even almost a little bit. “Nookie” sounds like a wizard turned sports radio into a nu-metal song. Fred Durst whining his way through some ol’ bullshit that’s so lazy you almost forget it’s misogynistic—so misogynistic you almost forget it’s terrible, but it is terrible AND misogynistic y lazy también.
The next strata in this garbage lasagna was “Break Stuff,” which remains interesting mostly for the fact that Fred Durst is like “Perhaps your fucking face!” Oh, perhaps! Perhaps! Perhaps your fucking face. Durst is Dr. Jekyll AND Mr. Hyde, you guys.
Then there’s the song “Re-Arranged”… I mean, the bass and drums are kind of fun, right? I DON’T THINK this is just me straining for the copper wire of credulity in the burned-down meth house that was this album. It’s kind of bouncy and fun, right? Like, what if a good rapper rapped over that? That could be the worst song on a decent album, right?
No? Fair enough, because “N 2 Gether Now” is DEFINITELY copper wire. It’s a really good DJ Premier beat! DJ Premier from Gang Starr! I can still say, at 30, that I enjoy DJ Premier. “Oh hey, Ian, who was your favorite band in 1999?” somebody asked. “Oh, great question. Mostly DJ Premier,” replied Ian, almost 100 percent lying.
The problem with “N 2 Gether Now” is that the artist Fred Durst is, of course, still singing. It’s such a bummer. Method Man is also on this track, it should be mentioned, and he’s not at his best. However, even Method Man with a hot hanger shoved up his ass, nuts laid out on a dresser and banged with a spiked bat, tongue stabbed with a rusty screwdriver, hanging by his dick out of a 12-story building, asshole sewn shut while someone keeps feeding him and feeding him and feeding him is still VASTLY more skilled and charming and capable than Fred Durst. I know the point of the track was probably to lend Wu-Tang credibility to Limp Bizkit—but it does nothing but highlight the vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaast gulf between the two entities.
When my mother was 14 years old she liked the Beatles. When my brother was 14 years old he liked Metallica and NWA and Too Short. I would love to say, “Well, Ian, your mom and brother are way cooler than you”—but it isn’t that simple. My generation has to deal with the fact that, no matter how much indie currency we’ve since shoved into our wallet, it will never completely cover Three Dollar Bill, Y’all.
Word on the street is Fred Durst likes to boil 20 packages of ballpark franks then evaporate the pungent broth into a thick paste which he carefully applies to his tender chocolate starfish to ensure a proper tribological interaction between his prolapsed sphincter and the erect members of the thirty midgets that arrived in a clown car at his residence for the Craigslist advertised 3-dollar butt sex orgy.
I’m flabbergasted by this terrible admission.
Then again, I used to be wayyy into Jethro Tull as a young boy, so I understand.
I recall this cool ex of a friend saying once we should never be ashamed of our youthful passions.
She was right.
And that is why I stopped listening to new music circa 1996-2006 (RIP) and forged memories to David Bowie instead.
I’ve been bothered by a question I was once asked – “What music did you like at 15 that you still like now?” That’s a very short list. Most 90’s rock sucked. I wasn’t fully appreciative of classic rock because it was for old dudes. 80’s stuff I could kind of tolerate then and kind of tolerate at time now but eh. It’s pretty much just Tom Petty.
Anyway that was asked of me by a person that is a fully grown, intelligent adult that STILL likes Limp Bizkit and I really don’t know what to do with that.
Back in the early 90’s, I remember that everyone was pretending to have been listening to punk in the mid-late 80’s when metal actually ruled all. By 1985 the whole punk scene had been hijacked by and mostly associated with Nazi skinheads.
90’s music was amazing. A lot of it still is. Pantera, Dr. Dre, Ween….