At the 59th Academy Awards in 1987, a slew of films were nominated
for Best Picture: Children of a Lesser God, Hannah and Her
Sisters, The Mission, Platoon, and A Room with a
View. All fine motion pictures, to be sure; but each pales when
compared to Back to School, Rodney Dangerfield’s 1986 classic
about an uneducated businessman who enrolls in his son’s college…
with hilarious results!
Dangerfield’s Back to School is so often mentioned in the
same sentence as Welles’ Citizen Kane, Fellini’s
8½, and Curtiz’s Casablanca that it’s easy
to forget how truly great it is. So, lest we forget the brilliance of
Back to School (or, heaven forbid, should any unfortunate
philistine have somehow managed to survive without having experienced
its glory!), let us take a moment to remind ourselves of its bountiful
merits.
Thornton Melon (played with a truly devilish delight by cinema’s
favorite uncouth ruffian, Rodney Dangerfield) is the wildly successful
owner of a chain of “Tall & Fat” clothing stores, which provide
garments “in all the larger sizes: husky, stout, extra stout, and the
new Hindenburg line.” But when Thornton’s marriage hits the rocks (his
latest wife’s chief attribute is that “she gives great headache”) and
his son decides to drop out of college, he decides to go… Back to
School! And so a classic comedy of errors begins, with Thornton
seducing his literature professor, paying Kurt Vonnegut to write his
papers, tutoring a few coeds in a hot tub in “marine biology,” and
hosting dorm room keggers with music by Oingo Boingo. “Bring us a
pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out,”
Thornton requests of a waitress as he relaxes from a hard day on
campus. “And then bring one every 10 minutes!”
For the Portland Mercury‘s annual Back to School Issue, I can
think of no grander film to serve as a spiritual basis than Back to
School, nor can I think of a grander guest editor than the Ghost of
Rodney Dangerfield. So venture forth, students of Portland! Discover
within these pages all that one needs to know about this fair city and
its education options, from advice on “how to romantically pork a
girl,” to a directory on where to obtain prophylactics, to study guides
written by Thornton Melon himself. Venture forth, and go in—and
with—the spirit of Rodney Dangerfield.
