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*Unfurls scroll *
* Clears throat *
YOUR MOM IS EXTREMELY HEAVY
* farts *
Gimmicks like mediocre donuts with silly names may not win any blind-taste test awards; but marketing managers know it buys tons of exposure on the Travel Channel and the Food Network. Can we expect something different this time around from the dude at Voodoo? Or should we expect to see menu items like Hootie and the Blow Fish Sticks with a side of Fleetwood Mac’n Cheese?
Perhaps a potato pancake pizza featuring a parsnip and parsley-infused pumpkin pie crust, sprinkled with parboiled peas, poached pimentos, Peter-Piper-pickled-peppers, pistachio pudding, topped with peaches (in heavy syrup), shredded papaya, pulled pork, and pineapple. Polish it off with a pinot or pilsner served by a pretentious Portlander.