For those who are bored with the usual methods of developing angina, may I present Burger King’s newest product: MAC ‘N CHEETOS.
According to Bloomberg, the burger chain is rolling out this new (possibly delicious, but probably not) abomination in an attempt to boost sales (as Taco Bell did with their Doritos-inspired freak food, Doritos Locos Tacos). Burger King’s Mac ‘N Cheetos are described as “deep-fried sticks of macaroni and cheese encrusted in Cheetos-flavored breading,” BUT HURRY THE FUCK UP BECAUSE SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED!! From Bloomberg:
Mac ’n Cheetos will be sold for about eight weeks or until supplies run out, said Burger King, which is part of Restaurant Brands International Inc. The $2.49 five-pack of portable macaroni-and-cheese bites are similar to mozzarella sticks. The item, which has 310 calories, has already appeared at some Burger King restaurants in a trial phase.
Intellectually, I know this is a trap. I know that Burger King wants to see me sheepishly poke my head in their Portland doors, just to see if they have this abhorrent non-food in stock. AND YET? As god as my witness, if they do, I will shove these Mac ‘n Cheetos into my stomach as fast as they can come out of the fryer. Well played, you Burger King bastards. WELL PLAYED.
The “macaroni” is 40% kangaroo meat.
I helped set up the circuis cavalia all day today and watched fancy french who spent probably $500 on a catering service just for their laborers to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My family in Italy eats basic yet healthy tasting and natural things you could not find in an organic store round here…..And we in America got mac’ cheetos. So proud.