First of all, I’m not one of those punk ass bitches who are “afraid of clowns.” I could give two shits about clowns, and figure I could beat a battalion of them with two arms and one leg tied behind my back.

RONALD McDONALD IS A DIFFERENT STORY.

He’s just WRONG, man. I was stuck in a traffic jam the other day during the Rose Fest Kid’s Parade, and an SUV was slowly driving past with a Ronald McDonald in the passenger seat. He just stared at me. Like I was a chicken leg. That was some unnerving shit. HOWEVER! It is not anywhere near as unnerving as the following four McDonalds parody commercials from Japan which have a lot in common with The Ring—except waaaaaay creepier. Watch this one alone… in the dark… at midnight. IF YOU DARE.

via

https://youtube.com/watch?v=9AaaFIZrH8o%26hl%3Den_US%26fs%3D1%26

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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