- This Could Be You
In this week’s column I suggest you have a picnic on Valentine’s Day. Not only do I make this excellent suggestion, I even point you towards places that can easily help you pull together a romantic, pants dropping outing.
Do I realize that Valentine’s Day is in February? Yes. Do I realize that the Mercury is published in Portland, OREGON? Well, duh. Do I realize that February in Oregon is cold and wet and rainy and blah blah blah whine whine whine…
Oh! I’m sorry. I was under the assumption Portlanders could romance one another despite less-than-stellar weather. I thought we were outdoorsy folk who laugh at gray clouds and power through storms with big smiles hanging below our mustaches, or rainwater dripping from our braids.
I’m of the mindset that if you can pull off a comfortable picnic in February, not only do you show more creativity than your average dinner-dater, you prove yourself to be a worthy mate. Besides, picnics have been ruled by good weather for far too long. I say every season should be considered viable for the romantic picnic!
I was just up in the hills this morning and I was struck by the vision of a cherry tree just starting to burst pink buds. I can tell you, against the dark wet background of evergreens and dark sky, the color was fantastic… Romantic even. Who says late winter is not the time to picnic? It’s gorgeous out there!
Then again, I may just be subconsciously trying to ruin your Valentine’s Day. There is that distinct possibility. I wouldn’t put it past my subconscious, really. However, I’m happy to leave the verdict up to you, Blogtownies!
Am I full of shit? Is a picnic in February such a terrible idea? Or is it a brilliant idea you’d like to contribute to by suggesting your own amazing picnic spot? Hit me—you can’t hurt me—in the comments below.
I think you’re on the right track and the haters need to pull their heads out and STFU. What.
I think it’s fraught with potential difficulties. Even if everything goes well, won’t your date have been worried about the weather? Wouldn’t you want to pick an activity that wouldn’t cause your date to worry?
What about an indoor picnic? You can have the same food and the basket and all that shit, but no packing umbrellas or wearing frumpy clothes. Plus, when it comes time for the sexing, you’ll be warmer and more comfortable.
Sounds like the voice of experience, Joneser. That would be really good with a working fireplace.
Awww. did PAC get his feelings hurt? that’s so sad, and totally unjustified. in fact I salute your out of the box thinking. keep putting a wig on that pig! come Sunday maybe I’ll head up to mt. tabor and hand out condoms.
@Jacob
No hurt feelings, just general guilt I’m trying to assuage by overcompensating with some kind of plea for validation. OR a Blogtownie beat down that will finally make me feel someting. But that’s neither here nor there. Save some condoms for yourself!