Colonel Mustard Boggled Admiral Adama In the Viper and Then Shouted “Uno!” and Then–OMG! JENGA!

Here at the Mercury, we love us some Battlestar Galactica. (Well, except for Ezra. And secretly, Ezra loves it too–but much as he conceals his creepily encyclopedic knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ezra shamefully hides his love for Roslin and Adama deep, deep inside.)

So the news that Battlestar Galactica: The Board Game! (A) apparently exists, and (B) will be out later this month is sure to transform lunch hours in the Mercury offices. In the dark days before Battlestar Galactica: The Board Game!, Mercury lunch hours were spent in awkward, interminable silence, with everyone gumming on bland sandwiches and occasionally making failed attempts to start stilted conversations about how bad Vampire Weekend is. But now, everyone will be all, “You’re a Cylon!” “No, YOU’RE a Cylon!” “Frak you, Cylon!” “I’ll fucking destroy your goddamn face, you toaster piece of shit!” “PARCHEESI!” and then we’ll all collapse in a big giggling heap of jumbled limbs on the Twister mat, and oh!, how we’ll laugh. That’s how I think it’ll go, anyway.

Each player takes on the role of one of the characters from the series, with the skills, abilities and drawbacks inherent to each character. Players also get a secret loyalty card that reveals whether or not they are truly human. Unrevealed Cylons may be subtly working against the other players. Worse still, players who thought they were human may find out later in the game that they were Cylons all along.

So I’m basically picturing it like Chutes & Ladders, but with a lot more robots and shouting and, as inspired by Col. Tigh, drunken paranoia. Also, I’m calling it right now: Matt Davis will be a Cylon. Matt Davis will always be a Cylon.

Thanks to Dane for the heads up.