As I previously reported—which you would already know, if you weren’t so goddamn obstinate in your refusal to ever read my “Bieber Fever” posts (which you probably aren’t reading now, so why am I even wasting my time?)—Justin Bieber has his own line of perfumes! SQUEEEEEEEEE!!! Unfortunately, it’s a girly perfume, and doesn’t smell anything like him. (Justin Bieber smells like a combination of power, estrogen, Bubble Yum, and a popcorn shrimp plate from Long John Silvers.)
Anyway! The new commercial for his new fragrance, SOMEDAY, is finally here, and this is what I learned from this commercial.
1) Wearing Justin Bieber perfume is tantamount to a million Justin Bieber kisses on one’s neck.
2) Wearing Justin Bieber perfume is tantamount to awkwardly flying through the air with Justin Bieber.
3) Wearing Justin Bieber perfume is tantamount to smelling what you’ll never truly have.
I’m sad now. Goodbye.
Something to make young boys sniff you? Guess what Pope Benedict’s getting for CHRISTMAAAAAAAS.
It smells like pee on cotton.
This may be the greatest thing of all time.
I was skeptical until I saw the bottle.