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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! If you're anything like me, you're already thinkin'... about HOLIDAY DRINKIN'! That's why it's time to get pumped for the Mercury's HOLIDAY DRINK WEEK—featuring $7 festive cocktails concocted by the city's best bartenders! It's starts this coming Monday, November 28... so save a little room in your liver, okay? Now let's drink up some NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• In the new, post-pandemic Portland, businesses take priority over people. You see it with repeated homeless sweeps meant to appease the city's rich, political action groups formed by big business interests whose sole purpose is to spread disinformation, and a city council that, come January, will boast four out of five members that are squarely in the pockets of local real estate baron Jordan Schnitzer and the Portland Business Alliance. Therefore it shouldn't be any big surprise that homegrown, popular ice cream makers Salt & Straw is the latest company to threaten to move their headquarters out of state due to perceived safety concerns from the homeless. OH, of course they would rather NOT leave and will supposedly do everything in their power to help support local leaders "find solutions"—but sure, let's try threats first. Lucky for us, there are plenty of fantastic ice cream makers in town who remain loyal to the city that gave them success... and even better? No long lines! For all those businesses threatening to leave, I hope you enjoy "out of state." (I hear Arizona is nice!)

• In a related story: "Portland auditor withdraws $5,520 fine against Rene Gonzalez’s city council campaign." The auditor’s office reportedly made this call following a decision to revoke the fine by Judge Joe L. Allen, who based his ruling on the testimony of a bunch of witnesses who were chosen by (and most likely work with) Jordan Schnitzer. Make of that what you will! 

• ALSO RELATED (I'm on a roll!): In case you missed it, the Oregonian Editorial Board penned an opinion piece begging Portland to support the criminalizing and mass incarceration of the homeless—a plan cooked up by the Mayor, Commissioner Dan Ryan, and mayoral aide Sam Adams with pressure from city hall's wealthy overlords... and WITHOUT asking a single local homelessness expert. It's almost like they all belong to one big club! This is me:

Courtesy FX Networks

IN OTHER LOCAL NEWS: 

• According to a new environmental assessment from the federal and state transportation departments, the planned expansion of the I-5 corridor in the Rose Quarter will have no significant impact on the environment—a claim that's being met with substantial disbelief from expansion critics. Our Isabella Garcia has more on the story.

• Ummmm... it's a little bit late in the game, but Multnomah County health officials are asking families that include children under three years of age to skip any large Thanksgiving gatherings tomorrow due to the surge surge in RSV cases that are quickly overrunning the state's pediatric hospital beds.

• Hurrah! Delightfully trashy auteur John Waters has chosen to celebrate his 77th birthday right here in Portland! And to honor his varied career, the Clinton Street Theater will be showing some of his greatest hits, all damn week long! Our Suzette Smith has all the details.

• IN THE WEATHER: Hey, you can expect a pretty nice Thanksgiving day tomorrow with sunny skies and highs around 54 degrees. Pro tip: Stretch out before any of your amateur backyard flag football games. 

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Police have identified the man who killed six people and wounded six others in a Virginia Walmart as a night manager who was armed with a handgun and multiple ammunition magazines. He followed his rampage by killing himself.

• Meanwhile, in an effort to inspire more mass shootings (like the one at Colorado's Club Q), rightwing media stars (looking right at Tucker Carlson) are ramping up their anti-LGBTQ propaganda.

• Targeting the country's electricity grid, Russian missiles have knocked out power for the vast majority of Ukraine cities—along with some water services and public transportation.

• So far, former Veep Mike Pence has resisted testifying before the January 6 committee... but will he be so tight-lipped now that the DOJ is knocking at his door?

• If you're flying over the Thanksgiving holiday... and I can't believe I have to say this... don't pack your cat into your suitcase.

• And finally... if you let one relative into your house for Thanksgiving dinner....