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Good morning and happy September, Portland! Wow, time really flies when you're devastated by the state of the world. Welp, onto the news!

In local news:

• Portland Fire and Rescue’s response time to fires and medical emergencies are lagging behind national standards, according to an analysis of the department. Without a permanent increase in staff, the construction of new fire stations, and organizational restructuring, analysts say the city could be in grave danger. 

• Louis Vuitton owes the city and Multnomah County $42,000 in taxes after failing to pay a local business tax and licensing fees in 2020, according to a lawsuit filed against the company last week. It’s unclear why Louis Vuitton allegedly didn’t pay its taxes given that a mere $42k is pocket change compared to the $71 billion (with a B) the luxury brand raked in last year,

• Despite temperatures rising to the mid-90s Wednesday, PGE decided to shut off power to nearly 300 people in the Salem area to install a new underground wire that is expected to improve service reliability in the area. According to KGW, several residents of a mobile home park who were impacted by the shut off said they were not notified they would be without power during the heat. The power was shut off at 8 am and restored by 3 pm Wednesday.

• The Rum Creek Fire in Josephine County had grown to 14,000 acres and about one percent contained as of late Wednesday morning, according to officials. The fire has destroyed one home and two structures and is threatening 7,000 additional structures and homes. Level 3 “Go Now” evacuations are in place for dozens of homes in Rand and Galice.

• The chances of home prices in Portland dropping over the next year? Very high, according to some real estate data analysts:

In national news:

• Four families are suing the US Navy after thousands of gallons of jet fuel from a military storage facility in Hawaii near Pearl Harbor leaked into water wells last year, triggering a water crisis. The families allege the Navy “harbored toxic secrets” about the spill and that they are suffering from seizures, gastrointestinal disorders, and neurological issues after drinking the tainted water. The Navy attributed the spill to shoddy management of the fuel tanks and human error. 

• Twitter announced Thursday that it’s testing an edit feature that will allow people to revise their tweets after publishing. However, the company said it plans to roll out the feature for subscribers of its Twitter Blue service later this month—AKA it won’t be for us regular folk. If a user edits their tweet, the tweet will be labeled as edited and timestamped, and other users will be able to read previous iterations of the tweet by tapping the label.

• Eight years ago, a meteor flew into the Pacific Ocean so fast that some astronomers believed that it came from another star system (because of scientific calculations). Now, astrophysics professor Avi Loeb is planning a private expedition to retrieve the pieces of the meteor, which he believes could be a technological object created by aliens. "If you ask what my wish is, if it's indeed of artificial origin, and there was some component of the object that survived, and if it has any buttons on it, I would love to press them,” Loeb told NPR. It’s worth noting that some other astronomers think Loeb’s beliefs are severely lacking evidence, so… take this story with a grain pinch of salt.

• A federal judge approved the legality of New York City’s new gun restriction laws Wednesday, hours before the rules were slated to go into effect. The laws restrict guns—including concealed carry weapons—in “sensitive places” like Times Square, parks, churches, and theaters. The law also strengthens the standards for issuing a concealed carry permit, requiring 18 hours of training and a review of all social media accounts for the past three years.

• Toad looks like a poorly-folded bottom sheet and I love that for him.