BREAKING: Taylor Momsen Owns a Vibrator

Taylor Momsen—one of the stars of Gossip Girl—recently “divulged” to Disorder Magazine that her “best friend is her vibrator.” Fox News entertainment reporter Deidre Behar wrote a piece about the “scandal.” She got lengthy quotes from batshit Catholic reactionary Bill Donohue, conservative radio yakker Michael Medved, an elderly grandmother who runs an organization called “Talk About Parenting,” and some douchebag from the National Center for Biblical Parenting who predicts that Momsen’s actions “will result in failure in her life.”

Behar got quotes from two people who aren’t rightwing nuts: one’s a media guru and the other’s a publicist. Both view Momsen’s comments as an effort by the former child star—she played Cindy Lou Who in atrocious How the Grinch Stole Christmas—to craft a more adult image.

There are no quotes, of course, from anyone who doesn’t view sex toys as either a tool of the devil or a publicity stunt. There are no quotes from anyone willing to point out that sex toys are common, completely mainstream, and appropriate for use by young, sexually-active adults. And no one is allowed to point out that the age of consent in New York City is 17. Momsen is not old enough to walk into sex toy store (which is ridiculous), but anyone who’s old enough to have a dick in her vagina is old enough to have a vibrator in her nightstand.