This just in from ONN: Beyoncé’s newborn baby has been taken by a witch who claims the infant was promised to her in exchange for the star’s good looks and beautiful singing voice. ONN entertainment reporter Angelique Clark has the details:

More details as we have them.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)