As regular readers of Us Weekly, I’m sure you’ve heard all about Lindsay Lohan’s horrible week of getting dumped by long-time gal pal Samantha Ronson (as well as the restraining orders and the lock changes). And while Lindsay definitely sounds like a handful in the relationship department, you gotta respect the pluck of someone who gets publicly shit-canned by a lover and then stars in a parody video about the experience on Funny or Die barely a week later. And it also doesn’t hurt that it’s FUNNY.
So without further ado, here’s Lindsay Lohan’s profile for eHarmony. Good luck finding that perfect… ummm… whatever.

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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