Take a gander at the hot piece of “A” that Alec Baldwin took with him to the SAG Awards.

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And now feel sick and dirty inside because that’s Alec’s 13-year-old daughter, Ireland! You filthy, dirty little perv.

That’s what Sarah Palin used to call “gotcha journalism.” But get a load of this! Ireland is the SAME little girl that Alec once called “a rude, thoughtless little pig” on voicemail. Well, who’s the piggy now? Rrrowwr! Rrrowr! (Dammit, Steve… she’s 13!! God, I hate myself.)

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

37 replies on “That’s One Hot Thoughtless Little Pig”

  1. Why don’t we all stop the sexual inuendo about children for awhile. We can get back to it after we have some distance.

    Better yet, let’s not talk about sex with 13-year-olds at all.

  2. Oh, and all you Blogtown commenters, feel free to explain to me how I’m just an unsophisticated prude because I’m not hip to sex with tweens.

    “I thought Portland was progressive!”

  7. Have you ever looked at my profile page? The only reason you think I only talk about you is that I complain about you when I see the stupid stupid stupid things that you say.

  8. Why would I look at your profile page?

    You’ve never explained why what I say is “stupid.” I know you don’t like what I say, and disagree with it (I guess on political or ideological grounds), but you’ve never directly tried to argue against anything I say.

    The fact that we have different values is separate from the question of whether or not I’m stupid.

    Again, Graham, you really don’t seem to say much that has content. “Blabby sucks” is not really a content-rich contribution to Blogtown.

  11. Blabby, the problem I have with you has very little to do with your perceived ideological differences with me.

    It has everything to do with your artless wording, your stupid arguments, your lack of logic, your inability to add anything constructive to anything ever. Essentially, my problem with you is that you suck. I could give a rat’s ass how you feel about city politics. I care that you are a boor and that you detract from any conversation that you participate in.

    How about that? Is that clear enough for you?

  13. Hmm. That’s a bit better.

    I would definitely disagree with all of those characterizations.

    The fact is Graham, and I’m sorry to get personal here, but I’d wager that I’m more intelligent, educated and logical than you by almost any measure.

    I honestly can’t think of one example from the last week in which you’ve taken on the substance of something I’ve said and proven me wrong. Basically, all of your responses are ad hominem.

    I’m sorry you’re tired of my commentary, but this is a public blog, and I don’t think much of you, and therefore I’m going to keep on commenting.

    If you really want to take me on, why don’t you start posting actual arguments and trying to pursuade me?

    We started clashing over the Adams story, and as far as I can tell by the drip-drip of information and now resignations, that I’ve been right and supporters of Adams have been wrong.

    Prove me wrong by discussing the situation. Not me. The situation.

  15. I’m not trying to do a comedy routine.

    Doesn’t anything happen down in San Francisco, kiala? Why are you still following news in this burg?

  16. While we’re dismissing people for not-funny-ness, I would be really pleased if Kiala would just fuck-off and die. Like a five year old.

  17. Blabby, I looked through you comments.

    You want to know why I don’t argue you? Debate you? Because you bring no facts to the table. You exist purely in a solipsistic world where you define “morality” and “trustfullness”. I can not debate you in that world. Once you get back to talking about things that are tangible and real, well… Maybe then I can say something productive to you.

  18. Graham, I think a big part of our disagreement is that I think it’s valuable for our community to define shared values like morality and integrity and you’re obsessed with “tangible” things like the strict definition of “adult” in the Oregon penal code.

    Doubt we’ll come together on it.

    kiala, for the record, I disagree with A Cat. I think you’re often pretty funny.

  19. Here’s the thing. You want to define sexual morality for a community of 560,000 people. Good luck with that. Aint gonna happen. That’s why people who care about the Rule of Law, care about the Letter of the Law. People who care about morality go on witch hunts.

  20. I think you’re going to get a lesson in how a community of 560,000 people define morality for themselves. They don’t need my help.

  22. Has anybody else noticed that it appears that Alec Baldwin has spiked his hair to appear taller than his 13-year-old daughter?

    Anybody else think that’s funny?

    Anybody?

  23. I don’t believe he’s going to make it to October, but if he does, then we’ll see. I’m open to a recall vote to see if Portland agrees with you or with me.

    If a majority agrees with you, I’ll be disappointed in my city, but so be it.

    But be careful not to overestimate how much of the city agrees with you. There’s a young, progressive, central-city bubble in Portland (think the pro-Sam rally on Friday). You may be surprised to find out how many voting Portlanders don’t operate in that bubble.

  25. Blabby, you might feel that your anger is righteous, but in 10 months morality is going to have nothing to do with the results of a recall. If Sam leads, he stays. If he fucks up the job, he goes. I want desperately for him to do his fucking job and do it well, but the Adams camp’s reaction to this debacle has certainly made me hesitant about their leadership skills.

  26. “If Sam leads, he stays. If he fucks up the job, he goes.”

    I can agree with that. I think he’s going to run into trouble though. Leonard is already basically in opposition. The other Commissioners are going to feel pressure to pick sides based on their perception of Adams’ chances to hang on.

    His plans are big. I see him having a hard time claiming a mandate right now for something like a $0.5 billion stimulus package financed through borrowing.

  27. Joneser, his hair’s been like that lately. That’s the same ‘do he has on 30 Rock.

    Blabby: you should hook yourself up with an Icon! Then you’ll get the respect of your commenting peers. Right now you’re just, like, guffman, except spelled differently. Know what I mean?

  28. I never read comments posted without icons. How about Count Chocula, Blabby? Or Jan-Michael Vincent. Pretty sure he’s an untaken avatar.

  31. Here’s an idea.. how about all the comments after this talk about the blog and not about Sam Adams or why so&so doesn’t like so&so.

    I am curious to know how high or a heel her shoes have. She looks extremely tall and not even close to 13.

  32. Nae, I’ve been trying to talk about Baldwin’s daughter! I’m curious as to how short Alec is… because maybe that’s what’s making her seem tall. She definitely does not seem 13. 13 is 6th/7th grade. my perceptions are obviously incorrect, though… so I don’t know what else to say.

    Except:

    Nice Lyle Lanley icon, Blabby!

  34. @ ROM – Me too!

    I didn’t notice his hair so goofy on 30 Rock. Maybe it just looks especially lame next to his middle-school daughter.

    I am exactly twice as old as the girl, and I have pretty much the same haircut and color, but I feel that I look way less sultry, and that’s fucked up.

  35. Steve,

    What’s your point, exactly? That underage tail is so irresistible, we shouldn’t hold Adams responsible for snapping at it?

  36. Joneser, perhaps you should focus on being less frumpy instead of whining about how fucked up the “sultry” 13 year olds are. She looks like a pretty 13 year old in an evening dress, I’m not sure how you expect her to try and be less threatening.

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