If you have been on the internet today, you may be aware that Taylor Swift released a new song last night. “Look What You Made Me Do” is the first single from her upcoming album, Reputation, and it goes a little something like this.
The Mercury office gave it a little listen this morning and let’s just say that WE HAVE OPINIONS. Let these hot takes be the definitive words on the subject of the new Taylor Swift song.
STEVE: Dear “New” Taylor: This sounds suspiciously like “Old” Taylor except the narcissistic pettiness isn’t funny or interesting anymore. Sorry you’re still bugging about Kanye/Katy/Kim/Miley/Nicki/Demi/Joe/Calvin but we’ve got more—and actually terrible—fish (Trump) to fry.
JENNI: As much as I appreciate that Taylor has admitted to evolving into a cunning snake, this single sounds elementary. And while not enjoyable, it is still—unfortunately—very catchy.
SUZETTE: “Look What You Made Me Do” mostly reminds me that once you hear Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” you can never unhear it. This is just how I live now, unable to take the smallest pleasure in a starlet’s revenge ballad. I didn’t like “Bad Blood” but I thought the rest of 1989 was solid. Hope springs eternal that this will still be a good T Swift record.
BOBBY: I’m not trying to hear Taylor Swift on a normal day, but I’m really not trying to hear this warmed-over hash made from five-year-old Britney and Pink leftovers being lamely rolled in jackass Kanye’s general direction. There isn’t one single thing about this that isn’t tired. as. fuck.
DIRK: She’s Like Arya Stark, but with a worse singing voice.
CD: Wait, can my reaction to this just be the Kim Kardashian tweet of the snake emoji before she revealed that Kanye/Swift phone call footage?
MEGAN: I normally like Taylor, but this is… bad, right? This song sounds like a poor imitation of Lady Gaga, with some of the weird fake Lana Del Rey inflection that shows up in some of the songs on 1989. Also, the way she says “Look what you made me do” sounds a LOT like the way white girls sing along to Nicki Minaj (I would know) which is maybe fine for driving around in your car, but it is teetering on offensive here.
MUGGINS: Can Right Said Fred please be lip syncing the chorus in the music vid pls?
JAMES: Shoulda got a verse from Nicki.
CIARA: Fangless snake making sad, whistling hissing noises over the sexy shirt song.
NED: Taylor Swift is the Cersei Lannister of pop music, and this song is the smoking gun that she is directly responsible for the deterioration of Kanye’s mental health. But Kanye loves Trump, so yay Cersei? Except that the trailer for the music video has Taylor pulling a Melania, so I don’t know whose side to be on. Anyway, the song is bad.
More office crowd sourcing like this please!