Well, it’s certainly taken them long enough, but the makers of Crest toothpaste have finally gotten their shit together and have produced what is obviously the greatest advance in dental hygiene since Glide tooth floss: CHOCOLATE FLAVORED TOOTHPASTE.

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From Daily Mail:

Priced £3, the Mint Chocolate Trek flavour, pictured, is part of Procter & Gamble’s new Crest ‘Be’ line, which also includes Vanilla Mint Spark and Lime Spearmint Zest. And the toothpastes will still be good for teeth as they also contain sodium flouride.

The firm said it was responding to feedback from customers who said they found toothpaste boring.

Waitasecond… it’s got FLUORIDE in it?? What are they trying to do? Vaccinate us with POISON? Nobody better put fluoride in my chocolate!!! Oh fucking never mind!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

2 replies on “Crest Launches Chocolate Toothpaste; Ummm… FINALLY!”

  1. The people you smear as “anti-fluoride” actually have no problem at all with pharmaceutical grade fluoride being included in dental hygiene products. The overwhelming majority use such products every day. Nice try, though!

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