As you know, I have EXTREMELY STRICT RULES when it comes to the Mercury's annual "White Elephant Gift Exchange" party—which you can read and follow yourself, right here. One of the more interesting aspects of my rules is what happens when an employee attempts "a steal"...

2e. "Any person whose present is stolen can challenge the thief to a 'test of physical acuity' chosen by me. (This tends to be arm wrestling, native american leg wrestling, or the standing long jump.) Whoever wins keeps the present. If there is a tie, the present goes to me."

At today's gift exchange, senior editor Erik Henriksen attempted to steal some Lazer nerd toy baby game—I don't know what it was called, and don't care—but was rebuffed by news reporter Dirk VanderHart. In strict adherence to the rules, a "challenge" was issued in the form of "a long jump." Erik emerged victorious, but Dirk went down fighting—as you will see in the following video.

Better luck next year, Dirk!