G-dammit!! Right when I was at the height of my jingoistic “AMERICA IS BETTER THAN EVERYTHING AND EVERYBODY” fervor, Japan had to come along and kick our asses in the “countries that produce the best practical jokes” arena. Seriously, I’m not exactly sure how this dude stopped his heart from leaping out of his throat and dashing off down the street. (Though I’m pretty sure I smell some poopy in his “pantsu.”)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=oGTkzyoOpNs

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

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