Okay, actually this is a BRILLIANT piece of playground equipment, and the kids are “stupid, stupid” for coming within 300 yards of it. (Your ideas for the perfect name for this pre-pubescent death trap in the comments, please!)
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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey
The “OH Fuuuck!!!!”.
The “Watch the children fly” machine.
The “Kid toss machine”. Kind of like midget throwing, sorta.
Kiddie Koncussion Kontraption
The: “Mamma take me back there” machine.
Centrifuge of Death.
The Death Cap Mushroom
Is t really mend for the kids..
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