After being on the waiting list for three years(!) to get a plot in a community garden, a spot finally opened up in a park by my place! I was so pumped to have the space, dirt, and sunlight to start a garden after living in apartments for the past seven years. I figured that most of my fellow gardeners would be like me, in the sense they didn’t have a yard but wanted to grow a few things. Then I discovered the people I’m actually sharing the garden with. How much unsolicited gardening advice can I take?! Shut the hell up and mind your business! I don’t give a shit that you own A HOUSE but still take up plots here! I could care less about when you think I should have planted my tomatoes! And if you stare at me or question if I should be here one more time, I swear to god I will come for your precious vegetables, herbs, and flowers! I will bring in all the bugs you don’t want! I will leave the gate open so dogs and kids wander in! I will fill your compost bag with my weeds! I will become THAT APARTMENT PERSON you are so scared of.—Anonymous
This Week’s Featured I, Anonymous!
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.