Dear “dumping my trash” neighbor note-writer

I’m sorry that your life is so sad and empty that you got ~triggered~ by me leaving a small “free” box ~outside of my own home~, waited until it was empty, and then returned it to my gate with an angry anonymous note like a stalker. I totally get that the world is a scary place right now and that no one likes you. But watching me like a giant creep, spending your quickly vanishing time on earth writing a passive-aggro note, and then not even having the tiniest of balls to leave your actual name, dear “neighbor,” is just so sad. I hope you find a hobby, a friend, or even a TV show to watch. Maybe try meditation or therapy? Maybe try channeling your anger into making your pitiful life better, or volunteering somewhere? I’m sure you can find something to add a tiny bit of joy to your pathetic life instead of harassing those around you. You might even go fuck yourself—masturbation is proven to improve the mood! P.S. Your note meant so much to me that I stuck it to one of the slices of bread someone else left outside on the ground, which strangely didn’t enrage me enough to write the bread-leaver a passive-aggressive note of my own. I guess I’m a role model for you in that way. It’s good you have someone to look up to. I’m happy to show you that life can actually be easy and good and fun when you don’t needlessly get bent out of shape. xoxo