You are fucking annoying. You stand out on sidewalks and harass people for either signatures of money. When I see you running up to me, clipboard in hand, I usually just say “NO,” and keep walking. Sometimes, you will reply with a passive-aggressive comment, but that’s usually the end of our interaction. Today was different. Today, when I was walking to get lunch, I saw a perky, petition-toting brunette across the street. I gave her my usual “no” and kept walking. As I walked past her, she grabs me by the shoulder, and pulls me over to face her, then starts yammering about GMO’s. I really don’t care what you’re trying to accomplish. If you fucking GRAB me and pull me closer to you, I WILL swat you in the face to get free, just like I did today. Do not EVER lay your greasy, crumb-covered fingers on me again or I will shove that clipboard up your butt.
Dear Petition Collecting Assholes…
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You should have rammed your tongue down her throat, then whispered sweet anti-GMO poems in her ear.
As the petitioner approaches, use the person in front of you as a blocker and go around both, continuing on your way. This is called The Sidewalk Pick and Roll.
You’re welcome.
Wait a minute. You slapped this girl in the face and then close out your rant using the word “butt?”
Just say ass for Christ’s sake. Kids shove stuff in butts. Adults ram thing in people’s asses. Geez!!!
no no RickStevens 🙂 this was all a dream.
but NEXT time you petition collecting assholes..
The Sidewalk Pick and Roll is classic.
Can someone make a “I already turned you down” black arm band to wear downtown, notifying these vampires that I don’t have time?
“I live in Washington”. That’s all you have to say; interaction over. No need being a crazy person about it.
^that is EXACTLY what I do. “Sorry, I’m visiting from Seattle” ends things quickly and quietly.
These are decent people doing a shit job. And I don’t believe for one second that one of them physically touched anybody.
Theirs *is* a shit job if it makes me have to pretend I’m from Seattle.
Now, if the petition was to THREECALL Amanda, Steve, and Charlie, I *am* in the mood…
Petitioners are cool. It’s part of our democratic process. I consider them not even street harassment lite. I guess if you grew up in the suburbs it might be jarring though.
Personally, I usually take the time to check out which petitions they are collecting signatures for. Sometimes, it’s something I actually want to sign, help get on the ballot and vote for.
As noted above, it’s part of our democratic process.
I’m going to start asking to see the petition and then I will draw penises on it.
Amen
lol,last year I was walking past pioneer square and one of the girls collecting for Children International grabbed my shoulder as I walked by. I explained that I am a member (I am) and she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek! Serious. No complaints, she was young and attractive and I am neither,lol but it was an ODD moment. Maybe she was very passionate about the cause? I mean far worse has happened as far as petition collectors
You didn’t “swat” anyone’s face.