I get it, you wanna come to a discrete adult store to relieve yourself and thats fine by me. But what i dont understand is why you have to be so disgusting! Look, going to the bathroom is a natural bodily function that happens to all of us, especially if you’ve been chugging your over-priced coffee and cruising the arcade for 8 hours. Whats not natural is pissing all over the booths like an puppy whose not house trained!! Wtf, why?! You think when you pee thru that glory hole it just goes into the 4th dimension along with all my hopes and aspirations?! NO we have to clean that shit up and its not okay. I wish i could come to your house, piss all over everything, then give you a cheerful goodbye on my way out. I dont know who you are but I will find you and when I do, I WILL tie your cock in a knot so to ensure that you never piss again. Yours truly, pissgruntled porn clerk.

38 replies on “Don’t Rain on My Arcade”

  3. It’s always a very telling sign when a RickStevens impersonator is obsessed with cum.

    Let me guess, you’ve had a very respected account for over 8 years now, and now you feel the need to show RickStevens who’s the real boss.

    This is a very obvious example of projection. I’ll send you a vile of the real thing if you’re that thirsty for it little buddy.

  5. ^ Maybe it’s time you start asking yourself why you need me/this so badly wannabe Rick Stevens.

    How have I managed to make such an impact on your “life?” Whatever you need to make your life meaningful (in any way), I can’t give you.

    Go adopt a cat or, a gerbil, or something.

    You’ll never be anything more than a part time hobby to me. You’ll never upset me, or get back any of the dignity I’ve stripped you of, so why bother?

    Start thinking about why I bother you so much. That’ll at least get you moving in the right direction. At this point, it’s far more important that you start the healing process.

    Don’t measure your value by the number of words I type here. I’ll always be here to point out how meaningless your life is, so stop wasting your time.

    Just accept the fact that you’re consumed by the thought of me and seek the help that you so desperately need. I can’t give you that help. I can only remind you how pointless your attempts to shame me really are.

    Always remember… You need me far more than I need you. Have you ever wondered why?

  9. ^ 1. “but upset enough to create an account…”

    Uhhh, take a look in the mirror there bro.

    2. “…and be denied any pervy activities.”

    Makes zero sense, much like the rest of your witless retorts.

    3. Science lesson: A louse is a parasite.

    Question: If your existence is solely dependent upon my presence here, what does that make you?

    Answer: A parasite of an even lower order.

    Nighty-night loser.

  11. ^ As always… Worthless/thoughtless response.

    P.S. I know you read every last word loser. Each word fuels your worthless existence. We both know this though, or at least I do. Maybe, just maybe, you should thank me for giving you a reason to wake up every morning.

    What else would you be doing at 5:30am, other than your paper route? Commenting here perhaps?

  15. ^ I see that 100 level Feline Psychology class you took online (pass/fail of course) through University of Phoenix is really starting to pay dividends for you dude.

    Didn’t take long for you to bust out the “Haw Haw” either. Throw in a “Meow Bitch” first, and that would be some next level shit right there.

  17. ^ I knew my super-secret double-life would eventually come crashing down around me. Nice work Detective Fake Stevens!!!!

    I only hope your real takeaway from this is that you’re a complete and total hypocrite and possess all the creativity of a Pet Rock.

    Tah-Tah loser!!!

  18. Oh wow. That was such a royal burn. Ohhhh. Your mom would be proud.

    Creativity 0
    Funniness 1
    Burn factor 0
    ——————
    Total. 1

    Try again!

  19. How many “creativity” points does a “mom” joke get?

    Do you get extra points for not using your “really well-liked and respected” account too? I’m guessing your “Burn Factor” is off the charts after those “Meow Bitch” and “Haw Haw” comments.

    Please DON’T try again!!!!

  21. Actually, I picked them up at Punctuation Depot. They give away all of their stuff for free. You should probably sign up for one of their free “How to” classes if you ever swing by.

    Also, I use quotations so that nobody attributes your stupid comments to me. They basically serve as a disclaimer.

    Such as… Disclaimer: Only the Fake RickStevens could possibly type something that moronic.

  24. This reminds me of the time I watched a dog go to town on its own ass. It was probably only a couple of minutes but it seemed like forever. I was concerned at one point that the dog would accidentally get a little chunk of his own anus. Luckily he didn’t eat his own ass and then I thought to myself, Why the fuck did I just watch that and why am I so concerned?

  25. That’s actually a pretty solid analogy lazaar.

    Thankfully, it looks like Fake RickStevens was going to town on his anus so hard that he actually got his head stuck up his own ass and suffocated.

    He will NOT be missed.

  29. ^ They’ll be closing the comments soon little buddy, but’s there’s probably enough time for you to throw one your classic “haymakers” before that happens.

    If not, tomorrow’s an all new day my man. You can roll outta your piss-stained 5th generation Craigslist futon at 5am and starting typing animals noises before the sun is even up.

  31. Exactly!!! It’s like I’m the dominatrix and you’re the submissive. You enjoy the humiliation and I’m happy to be the provider. I should be charging you, but this has always felt like a public service to me.

    If all else fails, you could start archiving and using my insults. Maybe someday work yourself up to a server position from dishwasher at Dick’s Last Resort. But whatever you do, don’t freestyle on the job. It’s clearly not your forte. Don’t say I never gave you anything dude.

    And don’t forget to recycle one of your lame comments before time runs out. But before you do, you may wanna start asking yourself who’s really pulling the strings here?

  33. Do I see? Yes.

    Does it make sense? No.

    Am I impressed? No.

    Do I have a cum vial collection? Why does your mind keep taking you there?

    See what I did there?

    Are you done? Probably not.

  36. ^ You know you’re losing your grip on reality right? Might want to tell that dude with a long standing and well-respected account about that.

    New Rule…

    I’ll let you throw me batting practice until about 8/9pm from now on. After that, you have to go back to playing T-Ball by yourself. Buenos noches loser.

  37. ^wow. You should probably eat a sandwich or something Rick. Your brain is completely tapped at this point. But still, have a shitty tomorrow you freakshow.

  38. ^ Yes, I should probably eat a sandwich or something because my brain is completely tapped at this point.

    I don’t know how you keep coming up with these gems, but keep up the good work you normal person you.

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