Dear almost every person in my life,
Yes, I wear glasses. Yes, I don’t eat meat and I am allergic to dairy and eggs forcing me to be a vegan. Yes, some of my clothes are from vintage stores. And, YES, I do enjoy art. These things do not make me a hipster. I don’t think you all understand when you call me a hipster that it is basically the same as calling me a douche bag. Even though you wear sports clothing all the time I don’t label you a jock. Please, instead of feeling like you have to label me, or whatever, just get to know me, so that you can call me by my name, rather than “that hipster girl.” Thanks.
For the 50th Time… I AM NOT A HIPSTER
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Whatever, hipster.
Considering hipsters often deny they’re hipsters, I suspect you are indeed a hipster.
This is fake, right? This reads like a bad parody of something a hipster would say.
If it walks like a duck…and talks like a duck…
I called you a high schooler, you must have misheard me.
There’s a lot of debate about what defines a hipster. Here’s my tried and true definition: someone who takes the Fleet Foxes seriously.
Excuse me are you a fister, I want to see if this fits in your hips sir….
I forgot being allergic to eggs and dairy automatically forces you into the Vegan lifestyle…how silly of me!
Maybe you should read Allan Ginsberg’s “HOWL” and realize being refered to a “hipster” isn’t as bad as you think it is.
Oh oh, I think I’m qualified for this label! Feel free to help me out with what qualifies on my Hipster CV below, I’m unsure on a few things:
+ I have a MacBook Pro that my lovely wife bought me because I don’t have a job.
+ I converted one of my bikes to a single speed/fixed gear
+ I can’t just “attend” concerts, I must be one of those annoying guys up front getting video on a 7D that I end up posting onto youtube (eventually) for everyone to enjoy.
+ I spend a lot of hours at various coffeeshops working on my websites.
+ I have an iPhone.
+ I have a beat up 1980 Chevy pickup (with an AM radio..mono!). I drive it about once a year though.
+ I use Facebook and Twitter and comment on blogs (this one).
+ I read Pitchfork and AVClub on a regular basis
+ I have made short movies a Fisher Price PXL 2000 Camera within the last couple of years.
+ Much to the dismay of my wife, I forget to look at my hair in the mirror before leaving the house.
+ I spent 18 months living out of the USA (but it was Australia/New Zealand, does this still count?)
+ Worked in a record store in the 90’s
+ Am typing this at the Albina Press on 50th.
+ I went to Matador 21.
+ I have a beard.
+ I generally only drink PBR.
+ GAP and Goodwill are the last two places I have bought clothes from.
+ I don’t think I’ve ever complained about hipsters, but complain greatly about people complaining about hipsters.
+ Came from a small town (Yakima, WA) and moved to the “big city”.
+ Married a girl who went to Evergreen in the early 90’s.
+ Most of the radio I listen to is online, either WFMU or KEXP.
+ Was on a softball team a couple years back.
Subtractions?
– Radiohead bores me to shits.
– Childhood-derived fear of dodgeball
– I like the Grateful Dead and have been to 10 shows.
– Have gone on very long hiking and biking trips with a lot of sleeping in the dirt and time between showers.
– Lived in Portland since 1996
– If you give me the necessary equipment, I can reload shotgun, rifle, and pistol ammunition.
– Was an actual computer nerd in high school without really any friends, people at the other end of my 1200bps modem were my friends.
– I really can’t play any instruments and I am not in a band.
@humanclock: tl;dr overshare much?
Not oversharing, just filling in for Todd since he is away.
Not enough info to determine sthifullness.
Gap should be under subtractions.
The term hipster is meaningless, just substitute it for anyone/anything that you feel insecure/uncomfortable about.