Can I ask if this is too much? I have a new neighbor who are lesbians, but who also have a yapping dog. These two are new neighbors so they donโt know our โJenny from the blockโ mentality, OR RULES. And being lesbian has nothing to do with this post- except for- I know a stellar woman when I see her and I donโt think box wine will cut it when I ask…
Iโm mad! At the yapping dog. For two reasons. One: because he/she is little (drink more milk bro, stop being a little bitch.) Okay 1-2 (1-2 thatโs a legal term) Two: He/She yaps at everything INCLUDING EVERY BLUE BIRD EVER BORN. How do I stop this?
Me on the phone for work: Did your dog just attack you?
Me: No no no, thatโs me. I donโt need a bandaid. My body is fine, I just need my NEW NEIGHBORS TO ALLOW THEIR DOG TO COME TO MY HOUSE WHILE THEY ARE GONE, SO said blue bird and yapping dog become family. (insert the more you know rainbow)
I,Anonymous, Iโll buy you the biggest wine bottle, but when you leave for work, can we put your (our) yapping dog in my โwork from homeโ backyard, so he/she turns out to be blue birds BFF.
Is BFF the right acronym for dogs and blue birds? This blue bird ducks under their garage and taunts this little yapping dog. Iโve seen it, so math! I don’t have dogs, i have a ten yr old though, so we’ll buy dog food. (and the good kind). <3

After getting through this my only thought is …. she needs to cut back on the wine.
I don’t think wine can do that. I’m thinking speed baller. And someone should check on the ten year old, if indeed the child exists.
You’d think having slept with 24 hobos you’d know what a speedball is by now and that someone who does speedballs doesn’t refer to themselves as a “speed baller”.