[Got an anonymous confession or rant you just have to share with the world? Submit it to I, Anonymous HERE!—eds]
I greeted you by name because you served me beer several times. I greeted YOU. I just like to be cool, friendly, and cordial with my servers rather than the way too aloof and too sexy for themselves “mixologists,” types who care more about image than customer service. You’re leaving in 30 min and are trying to maximize your tip yield so you wanna close my tab out. You said this to me. And how I could open my tab with your coworker.
The reason was, “I have somewhere else to be.” I said, “you don’t wanna be here.” I made small talk about where that was. Then you said, “I have to be here.” Okay, well, Mr. Smarty, yeah, want to and have to is a big difference. Well, you don’t HAVE to be anywhere.
So one ho Tip, check out your attitude. With a better one, you might make more tips. Life sucks, works sucks, but why live that to become truth. You don’t have to love what you do but maybe try to at least like it. And if you don’t, then don’t do it.
The second ho Tip is you are young and pathetic to have to announce your need for tips. Yeah, Portlands tip entitlement, blah blah.
Third ho Tip, I’m never going back there again.
What’s my name, bro?—Anonymous