Credit: Illustration by Kalah Allen

To the loudmouth-know-it-all at pub trivia: If we were in third grade and you had said what you did to me, you would have gotten time out for rude, poor sportsmanlike behavior. Since we’re adults, the only ramification you’ll suffer is getting called out in the newspaper. Implying that I have the math comprehension of a seventh grader was not only uncouth, but it was also incorrect. You don’t know if I’m a junior high dropout or a university graduate with a math degree (for the record, I’m the latter). Also, your competitive etiquette is completely bogus if you think trash talking a stranger to their face, in a friendly environment like a pub trivia game is appropriate. Maybe you need to go back to seventh grade PE class and learn a little more about sportsmanship (and healthy weight management). Oh, and one last thing, your team of eight only beat my team of three by two points. What does the ratio of correct-answers-to-teammates look like? Did your junior high math class teach you how to calculate that? Hope you enjoyed your eighth of a pitcher of celebratory beer.-Anonymous

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9 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  5. Why is this even anonymous? Who doesn’t have the balls to confront trivia victory rubber-inners?

  6. haha!!! You simmered all night instead of saying anything, instead opting to fume in an anonymous letter to a local newspaper? I love Portland

  7. You majored in math, but got a math problem incorrect at a pub trivia? You deserve to be made fun of, and if your teammates didn’t do it I’m glad someone else did.
    L2MATH

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