Coffee shops staffed by strippers are ruining good coffee! This
whole wave of boner-fueled barista shops is fucking ridiculous, sexist,
and exploitive. It isn’t even about the goddamn coffee anymore. It is
about the hotness and the fuck-ability of the twat or twerp behind the
counter. If you think for a second that you are creating an environment
built on honesty and integrity, then you are lying to yourself, your
employees, and your customers. You’re in it to make money! You selfish
fucks! Whoever is in charge of these shops, male or female, is
exploiting our sexuality. You are over-stimulating the public with hard
cocks and horrible caffeine. There are plenty of dudes who need a job,
like me, and you are fucking us over by playing gender games. Why not
open up three coffee shops, you asshole? The first one staffed by
hussies, the second one staffed by your average mustached hipster
douchebags, and the last one staffed by people like me, the generic and
regular plain Jane and John citizen of the United States of
Ugly.—Anonymous
I, Anonymous
Hot Coffee
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That writer should go open their own shop. Jeeze, what a whiner..
The whole point of a business is to make money, no? Not everyone wants a cup of coffee with a five page manifesto identifying its environmental/socio-economic break down.
Anonymous is an idiot, “You’re in it to make money!” Um… yeah… It’s not like they’re opening up a Bikini-Non-Profit-Orphanage or something.
I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday, for some tit today.
“Um… yeah… It’s not like they’re opening up a Bikini-Non-Profit-Orphanage or something.”
Dude, I would spend EVERY BIRTHDAY at Bikini Non Profit Orphanage. Fuck that, I’d spend every Tuesday there. Nothing goes better with naked chicks than the watery, weepy eyes of unloved bastard kids.
“average mustached hipster douchebag” Now that is funny, but I don’t really agree with your overall view. A business is a business. I agree with some of your points, but still if you’re upset about lookism you’re contributing to it. And frankly the hotness and fuckability of quite a few of the female employees in a number of the places I’ve been in our fair town is not epic, but that’s not why I went. I went to get coffee. Crazy concept eh? Well, good luck with a job, perhaps consider a real one rather than wanting to be an “average looking barrista”. You still get credit for dissing “average mustached hipster douchebags” even if you secretly prob want to be one of those losers
don’t hate the player… hate the game.
sounds to me like the writer is just bitter about being fat and ugly.
what cumguzzling rectum did you crawl out from to think that any business is “built on honest and integrity”? EVERY business is out to make money you mindless gerbil. Further more; exploiting sexuality has been happening long before your dead beat dad shot his load into the wrong hole. So please….crawl back into that steamy rectum from which you came and stop breathing.
bitter about not getting a job?
perhaps our not fuckable because your a whiner and it has nothing to do with your looks.
Anonymous is bitter, but I do dislike being flirted into tipping or buying. Give me good products and services, rather than trying to manipulate me by my most personals. People on this site will whine about the need for ethical businesses every which way, but when it’s suggested that the skeezy use of sex is bad, watch them discover the pro-business religion. Lame.
This has got to be the worst I, Anonymous ever. Are you seriously complaining about that? Make your coffee at home, bitch.
F-
Why did the Portland Mercury allow this article to be published?? This guy is the biggest whiner I have ever heard. Whining cos he doesnt have a job and a hot girl and/or trendy guy has a job?? Cmon you big baby. This is Portland Oregon, land of the trendy gay hipster employed by the rich white liberal. There is no place for a plain jane loser like yourself. Especially if a hot chick has a chance to get the job first.
And maybe your lack of American culture has kept you from realizing that all the coffee sucks here. Go to Jamaica or Costa Rica if you want some good coffee.
AND… there are like 150,000 people without jobs in Oregon right now. Are you really complaining cos a coffee shop didnt hire you??
There’s nothing better than boobs and coffee. There is obviously a market for this sweet combo…a sad and lonely market, but hey is that really surprizing?
I like my coffee and my cafe hot. Who doesn’t like boobs? I love ’em, I’ve even got a great pair myself, and enjoy the beauty that is (sometimes) the human body, male or female. It’s NOT demeaning; it’s celebratory. And ask your average baby in nappies; boobs are, like, awesome!
I imagine there are literally hundreds of other jobs you could equally suck at, why limit yourself to just making coffee for lazy people?
I am so with this one. Sex sells like nothing else. As I write this, I see an advertisement hosted by the Multnomah County Health Department to the side of the page. It shows a cute girl with purple hair waist up naked, covered in tattoos and giving a suggestively sexually look above a pair of book readers. The message says: “You got inked. NOW GET POKED. Get your H1N1 flu shot.”
It’s insulting and degrading, it’s offensive and dehumanizing to constantly glorify sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love sex as much as the next person. People who live in Portland become desensitized to the degradation because it’s foundation is strip clubs and bars.
A lot of these responses seem to be extremely defensive. Come on, wake up, you’re being fed something that shouldn’t be SOLD to you.
Either you can throw your hands up and say “that’s just how it is, i might as well play by the rules” or you can make your own. It doesn’t matter how you feel about Anonymous wanting to be an average barista, that’s what they want. Because a lack of honesty and integrity in business is so uncommon doesn’t mean another way is impossible and should be dismissed.