Credit: Illustration by Kalah Allen

Jesus Christ, Leverage! How many fucking parking spots does your crew need to take out of downtown lots to film your piece of shit sorry excuse for a third-rate cable network void of a fucking show? I rarely drive to work, but when I do I expect at least one spot to be open in a two-mile radius of Old Town. What the fuck is your problem? Does each person on staff drive five cars to work? If you’re going to take our lots, pay for our street parking and the tickets we’re bound to get when we forget to feed the meter every 90 minutes. Or maybe you could do what the rest of us do and take the first spot available. And fuck you to the lot owners that exiled local business employees to street parking. Closing off a good 20 spots to make room for a catering area for these fuck necks? Are you fucking serious? I’ve only met one person who actually watches Leverage and he’s a fucking idiot.—Anonymous

19 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  2. That’s karma. You watch tv your whole life and now you’re a fat lazy fuck. So a tv show comes to town and makes you have to walk a few extra blocks, taxing your obese arteries and releasing century old clogged dorito dust into your brain and making you angry. Very angry. At tv. Circle of life, baby.

  3. cry. cry. cry. my sense of entitlement to a parking spot outweighs your sense of entitlement. i want more confessions and less affluent whining from i, anon. or at least whining about real problems like if your ambulance was delayed due to filming of leverage. this column has such potential. oh well, at least these crappy i, anon.s give me something stupid to complain about.

    @snickerdoodle: nice catch.

  5. I know IA is about trivial stuff, but this is downright whiney. changing your parking routine is part of life. Take the maxx or park somewhere else and walk a few blocks.

  6. Screw you, I’m in a great position to be an extra on the show, and while that probably won’t amount to much it’s at least a bone and the show brings work and revenue to Portland. Now walk your candy ass to work, missy and turn that frown upside down.

  7. whatever. i’ve had to deal with the producer before. she’s a raving L.A. banshee who does not make life easy for any of the hapless civilians who get in the path of her crappy show, and i’m not the only one who thinks so.

  8. I would love to read an IA wherein the ranter is able to express and rage without saying “fuck” repeatedly. The IQ of Portland is appropriately displayed in IA.

  10. Portland has a fabulous public transportation system that I recommend you frequent on your dalliances into the downtown area.

  12. waaah. try moving to a major city. experience the joy of searching for parking for over an hour, and then, having to walk 20 blocks because you found a spot that is going to cost you $8/hour.

  14. @ snickerdoodle – ride the bus and read a book – you might pick up a few new words for your limited vocabulary by accident. IA = low IQ. Hipster doofus.

  15. Back @ Evy. People who dislike IA, read it anyway, and then comment on how beneath their intelligence it is = miserable fuck. I’d rather be unintelligent than unhappy. Try donating your intelligence to a cause that would appreciate your altruism…like training unruly killer whales at Seaworld.

    The bus is for cripples and tweakers, I ride the max.

  16. You are all idiots…. really, all of you are fucking pretentious ignoramuses. Except snickerdoodle, taking the max is definitely the smart way to go.

  17. Why don’t you start a petition to get rid of all movies and TV shows? That way there will never be any film crews to take your precious parking spot. What do you do for a living? Can I bitch about how unnecessary your job is? You’re in my goddamn parking spot, after all.

  19. The TV show “Leverage” gives people jobs. I don’t care if they fill your parking place with horse dung and film it rotting-as long as they hired Oregonians to shovel it.

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