Dear Hurried Ikea Shopper Lady: I know you were in a hurry to get some cheap, poorly made colorful goods to decorate your McCraftsman. That was my gay lover and I happily sipping on our coffee drinks, two-thirds of the way across the crosswalk, when your red Mazda almost ran over my foot. I slapped your window and regret it for two reasons: The window didn’t break, and my thumb kind of hurts. I hope the bookshelf you purchased at Ikea is missing parts. And to the guy who witnessed the event and decided he was “going to make it his business”: You are a douchebag. Thank you for informing me that if it had been your car I slapped, you’d sue me for damages. You obviously overestimate my strength and the purpose of litigation. I believe your brain is already missing parts.—Anonymous
I, Anonymous
So Sue Me
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The gays smell like poop, don’t anger them.
Um, yeah. What’s with “gay lover?” Does your overt sexual preference somehow make you more sassy? Snap!
That was my straight lover and I happily sipping on our coffee drinks = Snore.
That was my GAY lover and I happily sipping on our coffee drinks = Relevant.
Please keep playing the gay card, it works.
The gay card has done wonders for Adams
Pretty sure the gay card was what got us an Ikea in the first place.
So many of the people who respond to these things are smarmy self-righteous assholes, wtf? The issue is that someone was IN THE CROSS WALK and this lady almost ran them over. Gay card? WTF?
Question to the first five posters:
If the crazy IKEA lady had run over a straight guy’s foot(or the foot of his wives)would you have thought that was worse?
And what does Sam Adams have to do with this? He’s the mayor, not the manager of Cascade Station.
Methinks y’all have some issues to work through, yo.
Really… that’s what you all got out of that? Not that women may suck at negotiating parking lots, and arguably operating a motor vehicle in general? Not that IKEA still can’t shake the downside to economies of scale and manage to not include that crucial screw/ bolt that would allow that POS bookshelf to actually function…? For Portland boasting a high national IQ and educational average, most of you are failing at the reading comprehension part of life. Was it because the guy and his Special Man Friend didn’t hop on their fixies and kept it local by cruising on over to Stumptown for their cup of caffeine that has odjubilee so agitated? Was it that the man hit the woman’s window instead of pulling out his Desert Eagle and squeezing off a few rounds into the radiator that has spartacus releasing his anger with more decline bench reps?.. While we may never know any of those answers, it does make for an easy I, Anonymous within an I, Anonymous.
Wow. You guys really resent gay people. Keep Portland…straight?
Obviously the bitch driving the car was a careless idiot, shit like that happens all the time. But what does I anon’s sexual orientation have to do with it?? I really didn’t get why we needed to know that he’s gay! Um….. Ok…… Thanks?