Look at you in your neon and rollerblades. Kids, let me ‘splain you something: We invented this whole retro-ironic thing in the late ’80s, when popular culture became hopelessly, irrefutably lame. We started listening to surf music and rockabilly from the late-’50s and early-’60s. We had Man… or Astro-man. Art Chantry. You can’t keep pounding the retro treadmill indefinitely. The whole point was appreciating something that was hopelessly outdated, but indisputably awesome. You can’t get all retro-ironic about something that actually SUCKED even when it was popular. That just makes you even lamer than your lamest contemporaries. Say what you will about the aesthetics and music of the ’50s and early-’60s—at least it was genuinely cool in its time. Now you’re wearing neon like it was the early ’90s? You know who wore neon in the ’90s? DOUCHEBAGS. It wasn’t even cool THEN. If your generation is too weak to produce anything worthwhile, you need at the very least to appropriate the style of a historical subculture that wasn’t hopelessly moronic in its own time. Maybe you should try the late Victorian era. At least you nubile young things would look sexy in corsets and waistcoats.—Anonymous
I, Anonymous
Old Fashion
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Way to play into the stereotype, grumpy old man.
Way grumpy, jesus christ. I think its dumb too, but im not gonna bitch about it on i,anonymous. You must truley be bored sir…
And all those damn bands using all the same notes and words!! Just cuz they change the order around they think they are being cool. We all know music died in 1973.
I look smashing in corsets and Victorian lace undies.
You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round
So, here YOU are bitching about the attire of some totally random stranger you saw out in public as if you were the Fashion Gestapo, evidently soo moved by the “offense” that you felt the push to send in an ‘I, Anonymous’ submission, & you’re talking about [other] folks being douchebags. Man, i’ve only been here for going on 5 years & i instantly recognize this as CLASSIC PORTLAND! Bt ‘effing w, if YOU think folks who wore neon were “douchebags”, then you must think LIVING COLOUR were the biggest douchebags of all. I DARE you to say it!
Relax don’t do it
When you want to suck to it
Relax don’t do it (love)
When you want to come
When you want to come
When you want to come
Come-huh
Andy Rooney wants his disappointment in todays culture back.
Wear whatever the fuck you want, just don’t struggle under the impression that it magically makes you less douchy.
Ah DamosA weighs in again and finally admits he is a recent transplant (which i had already surmised a while ago), given a little detective work that makes you yet another “ironic 80’s ” loving whitebread hipster assclown. Does explain alot. Oh and I agree with disastronaut. i just don’t expect much out of that lot so I am rarely disappointed.
Actually Anonie: say whatever the hell you want. That’s why this is here. Sure you sound like a grumpy old fuck, but who cares? I think it’s hilarious that the dominant trend in fashion these days seems to be Goofy Best Friend From An 80’s Teen Fuck Flick too, and also know that it’s hardly the most terrible thing I’ll see this year.
And we all know that all fashion is recycled, that this is hardly new, sure. But make fun of it anyway because you can. And if some jackhole wants to make waterheaded generalizations about Portland because of it, so be it: they will be with us always.
My main gripe about retro stylings for years has been how freaking easy it is. Go find some old episode of Alf, find a ridiculous wardrobe and recreate it. I don’t see why anyone should get hipster points from their peers for figuring that formula out.
“I WAS dressing like I’m from 1989! NOW I look like I’m from 1990! Get it?” Yeah, we get it.
“Goofy Best Friend From An 80’s Teen Fuck Flick”=the best way portland style can be summed up!
dear anonymous,
you are a pretentious douche bag; and while that claim is made often in this town. I think with a little self reflection you will find that you’re the reason why, in a city with so much to do, people are paranoid and not having as much fun as they should be. I hope you lighten up or are beaten to death by a roving gang of rollerblader tuffs.
this column ruins my day worse than the family circus.
Your wacky fashions make you not just a tool, but a capitalist one. Consume ideas! Advertise your ideal self! Your hipsterism is just yuppy-ism with different sunglasses.
Is this written by the rockabilly dude that ruined that hipster douchette’s iced latte after complimenting her tan?
HAH!! Good call, rugwars!
Although I do sometimes think there is a secret contest going on in Portland to see who can come up with the goofiest, most ridiculous costume and then wear in in public, I mostly find it amusing. Who cares what their motivations are, it’s probably mostly an attention-getting ploy and often, the results are hee-larious.
Keep recycling those clothes people! No matter how ugly, uncomfortable, non-breathing or ill-fitting, because polyester takes like forever to decompose. The earth thanks you.
I’d have to agree with everything minus anybody looking good in victorian era clothing. Nobody pulls that stuff off. nobody.