Credit: Illustration by Kalah Allen

Recently, I noticed an ad in the back of the Mercury soliciting applications for writers. In the brief description of the publication, there was mention of it being “one of the most innovative” weeklies in the country. Seriously? What’s so innovative about the use of words like “fuck” and “pussy,” the same tired images of women’s body parts displayed for sensational appeal, repetitious references to “dicks” and “nuts,” hideous cover graphics, movie reviews that are either incomprehensible or so negative one wonders if the reviewers have any critical faculties at all, or finally, the focus of the paper, which seems very narrowly conceived to analyze news and events from a distinctly white, privileged perspective? What would be truly new is a weekly publication that includes voices from the entire community. Portland is not just about young, white people; there are many others in this city. Why not have a completely multiethnic/cultural, gender/age-balanced publication written by a coalition of people who are respectful of each other? What would be truly radical would be people telling their own stories and coming together to create a true picture of Portland as opposed to, for example, an image of a future robot having sex with a woman?—Anonymous

6 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. Here is an idea, Jackass. When you start your own Weekly Paper you can put whateverthefuck ethnocentric, multicultural bullshit that you want into that piece of shit, in the mean time, if you don’t like the Mercury don’t fucking read it. You see, free advice, especially in this case, is worth, often times, less than what you paid for it. And another thing, that the Mercury printed your little diatribe should speak volumes that they offer different opinions, CHECKMATE, Jackass!!!

  2. The Mercury is a weekly rag, not a bastion of multicultural, principled, Pulitzer winning journalism. Enjoy it for what it is(potty jokes and cynicism), don’t hate it for what it isn’t.

  4. we all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine

    SING ALONG!

    WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE, YELLOW SUBMARINE!

    (starting to feel better yet?)

    WE!
    ALL!
    LIVE!
    IN! A!
    YELLOW!
    FUCKING SUBMARINE

  5. And yet again, it most be pointed out-

    Freddy Mercury used to have parties with midget waiters with bowls of cocaine strapped to their heads!

  6. Calling something art doesn’t make it GOOD. There’s a shitload of crappy art in the world, including the godawful Mercury covers. In all fairness, it serves as a good warning for the sort of content one should expect when one reads beyond the crappy cover “art”.

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