I’m all about whatever relationships people feel comfortable with, be it same sex, polyamory, monogamy, whatev—get your strange on. What I take issue with is the attitude against people who want a traditional commitment, in particular women. We advise each other, “you don’t want to drive them away” and “don’t push it too fast too soon,” but inevitably my girlfriends end up sharing physical intimacy without any emotional investment on the part of their suitors, and then get left in the dust. I say fuck that! Portland dudes, get it together! It’s not our responsibility to clarify to you that we want to continue to see you if we like you enough to fuck you. And that maybe we are also hesitant about commitment but if you want to fuck us you better be down to hang and see what might happen, and I’m not talking about booty calls. If you’re comfortable enough to do it, you should be comfortable enough to say it: “I want to fuck you but not date you.” It’s not on us to find a way to ruin the moment by letting you know, in all our shame, that we want the option of exploring the possibilities before or after we share what is arguably the most intimate act two people can share. It should be a given.—Anonymous
I, Anonymous
Committed
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Sounds like someone keeps giving it up and then getting dumped. Don’t worry, honey, it’s not him. It’s you.
Stop letting these men use you. Date them for a few months, before YOU choose to fuck them. Take YOUR choice & power back. Only an immature jerk or a CREEP pressures women to have sex. It is SOOOO easy to find out if a guy is into you, OR just wants to use you. Take a deep breath and tell him, “We are not going to have sex until I feel comfortable with you, that might mean months of dating”. OR, “I am looking for a long term relationship, lets get to know one another psychologically, mentally, emotionally, & intellectually BEFORE we explore each other sexually”. You CAN date without fucking these boys, and based upon the angst of your letter, you need to re-evaluate why you feel like you need to. We ALL make hasty decisions about partners based upon starting a sexual relationship TOO soon. Had I followed my own advice, I would have learned sooner then later that my ex-spouse and I were NOT compatible and everyone would have be spared the pain and heartbreak of failure and divorce.
YEAH. What the LAST person said. Though I must ADMIT I didn’t actually READ it.
Really?! This made the paper?!
Well that just depresses the hell right out of me, there are no nasty, snarky or pithy comments that I can make to this one, well said!!! Bravo!!! Finally a woman who “Gets” it, (no not in that way, get your head out of the gutter) Women are FAR more POWERFUL than they give themselves credit for, so with that in mind, Go out and Date your pretty little ass off, but keep you clothes on, unless or until MONOGAMY has been established and agreed to, unless you just want a BOOTY CALL, in which case, give me a call, just sayin!!!!