Recently I went on an out-of-state camping trip with an old friend. Several others joined. The scale and location were intense and required everyone to pitch in. No problem, sign me up. My friend is super handy and became a bottle neck in many of the camp projects. Because of this I agreed to drive his son back home to mom (a 3-hour drive) mid-trip so that he could attend the first week of school. This was always part of the plan. Me taking him (rather than dad) would allow dad to stay and work on projects. I had no car there so I used my friend’s truck, a vehicle I had no prior experience with. On return I filled up with gas (pumped my own, not in Oregon). Didn’t make it far because the truck took diesel and I put in regular. I apologized to my friend and spent several days in town dealing with the mess. The tow, hotel and first round of repairs cost $5,500. I paid. There remains a final bill and the task of getting the truck back to my friend, who lives in a different state than me. (He car-pooled home at the end of the trip when the repairs were still unfinished.) While I initially felt it was right to take full responsibility, I am now getting resentful over the high cost for (what seems?) a pretty understandable error. I WISH my friend had told me it was diesel! (He agrees that he did not.) This information was not indicated anywhere on the truck. The gas cap cover had been painted from diesel-signaling green to matte black. Any thoughts? Am I just resisting the idea that I f-ed up? Or does my friend share some of the responsibility?

11 replies on “Is It My Fault? Is It ALL My Fault??”

  1. You are a child. The cost to repair has nothing to do with your responsibility to repair the damage you caused. You fucked up. Own it. Pay for it in full. Learn from it.

    Being a responsible grown-up involves doing the right thing even when it’s painful, costly, inconvenient, or uncomfortable.

  3. Totally innocent mistake on your part. But it was also your mistake. Yeah, it would’ve worked out well if someone along the way had said “You know that takes diesel right?” But it’s obvious enough and also not anyone elses responsibility to make sure you correctly put gas (and put the correct gas) in a vehicle. You did the right thing by apologizing and paying (and continuing to pay.) Sounds like you’re almost out of the woods. Don’t give up yet! You’ll feel better when it’s all said and done and you don’t owe anybody anything. Let go of your resentment and don’t try and avoid responsibility. A clear conscience and clear reputation are soon yours

  4. 3

    Careful, suggesting the OP take personal responsibility for his/her actions is not how we do it in Portland. I’m sure TW would want to form a task force so we can get the OP the help he/needs.

  5. “My friend

    is super handy and

    became a bottle neck in

    many of the camp projects.”

    wait. what?

    did you mean

    they’re a MacGyver?

    bottle neck:

    A hindrance to progress or production.

    moving on:

    “The gas cap cover had been painted from diesel-signaling green to matte black.”

    hmmm.

    why on Earth

    would someone

    change cap color?

    the Merc’s Commentariat

    may or may not be

    sufficient here

    I know:

    Oh The

    Blasphemy!

    perhaps The Ethicist

    over at the NYT might

    help y’all clear this up:

    Are You in a Moral Quandary?

    to submit a query: send an email to ethicist@nytimes.com; or send mail to The Ethicist, The New York Times Magazine, 620 Eighth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10018. (Include a daytime phone number.)

    good Luck!

    and keep us Posted?

  6. oh –and Don’tchya have

    Insurance that’ll Cover

    your Ass in these

    types of Situ-

    ations?

    you know those Mega

    Ins. Corps’re just

    Dying to

    Help

    you.

  10. how bout since the fuel cap

    was the incorrect color

    the Owner take a

    Hit too? I’d say

    20-30 percent

    or perhaps

    more.

    but still

    it STINGS.

    maybe we’ll

    All learn from this.

    thanks!

  11. plus he should pay for the fuel since it was His kid you were schlepping and this being what sounds like a couple hundred miles or so (6 hour round trip) if he was gonna need Fuel HE

    shouldda paid for it in advance and that wouldda been the Perfect time for him to ‘remind’ you to NOT put in gasoline.

    pretty sure there are some

    Shared Responsibilities

    here.

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