I’ll quit manspreading on the bus when you quit ma’amspreading – if your ass takes up two seats pay for two tickets, or momspreading -just cuz you squirted out a brat doesn’t mean the whole world needs to come to a halt while you wrangle stroller, backpacks, groceries and little screamers on and off the bus during peak hours, or gramspreading – with your busted BiMart Little Rascals, walkers and your carts and fer Fucks Sake stay seated til the bus stops. If I see one more face plant by a glory days ballerina worried that the driver is going to “miss her stop” I’ll start my own hashtag #TheHateful68…and don’t even get me started on “service” animals. Your companion shitzu, cat, rat or cobra is NOT a Service Guide dog and is NOT covered by the ADA. When everyone starts wiping their feet as they get on the bus I’ll consider setting my pack on the floor. Til then if my pack is in the way and you want the seat, just ask I’ll be glad to move it.

3 replies on “ManVanDammeing the 15”

  1. Then I’ll do what I always do to assholes taking up too much space. I’ll fucking sit on you. Plop right down onto one of your obnoxiously spread legs, and turn to you with wide eyed innocence and say loudly “OMG excuse me I didn’t see you on all 3 seats!” Works like a charm.

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