This afternoon I was walking from the industrial part of town to one of the major transit transfer points. I look up & see what looks like an elderly version of the Muppet’s Miss Piggy barreling down the sidewalk on a little rascal scooter. I move towards the fence on my left, there’s more than enough room for her to pass. I’m taking no more than one seventh of the huge empty sidewalk.
She halts to a sudden stop & yells at me because she wants me to move to the right so she could be by the fence. Apparently the curb that’s a few yards away is something she never gets near because she would hurl in the abyss of non-existent traffic.
Her depth perception is way off & if she would have skipped her afternoon of cheap vodka bottle with Metamucil, she would see that. I have a right to walk here too, you may not be able to see through your drunken haze & cataract eyes that I have an injured feet that don’t want to be run over by your over hooves (wheels) .
I could only guess what the whole rush was. Maybe to attend her regular viewing at the strip club two blocks away? Take the stripper’s lead & remove some accessories!

7 replies on “Piggy, Pig, Pig, Pig!”

  2. I have an injured brains from reading your prose, I think I’ll go hurl in the abyss now (though I usually wait until Friday night).

  4. Thanks for letting us know what she looked like! Totally relevant information that doesn’t make you sound at all like an asshole.

  7. from the wiki page for ‘hoof’:

    Most even-toed ungulates (such as sheep, goats, deer, cattle, bison and pigs) have two main hooves on each foot, together called a cloven hoof.

Comments are closed.