Potty Mouth

To the big baby who came into our shop with his toddler and felt entitled to use our employee bathroom—wow, just, wow. You asked if we had a toilet and I gave you the standard ‘no, but here’s a place that does,’ you stormed out muttering expletives under your breath and fuming about how I’d lied to you because this other time another employee had let you to use our bathroom. Tough. I have no idea who you are. Do you understand that if I let all the randos off the street into our stockroom/office/toilet I would lose my fucking job? Would you have preferred me to say, ‘sure, we have a bathroom, but you can go fuck yourself.’ ? That would not have gone well. When you finally came back because the other place was closed and you were desperate, I actually did let you use our toilet because I felt a little bad for you. Your way of saying thanks: continue to call me a liar and swear at me (in front of your toddler), mumbling that I was ‘fucking lame’ as you huffed out— after using our toilet! I’m pretty sure you think I should be so lucky as to pee in the same place as you, but I could give two duck queefs about what a big fucking deal you think you are. I also read the blurb they ran on you in the Weekly, since you were name dropping yourself so hard. I love how it describes you as a Buddhist and that it mentions that you have Instagram pics of you with the Dalai Llama’s entourage. Such a tool.