To the lone smoker at every restaurant with outside seating who seems so delighted with the concept of smoking and eating that you get through two or three butts in 20 minutes, turning a pleasant brunch in the sunlight into a 1980’s truck stop meal for the 40 or so other diners:

Fuck you.

13 replies on “Puff and Eat”

  1. Go somewhere else. Smoking isn’t allowed ANYWHERE any more – you have ALL the restaurants, ALL the bars, and A SHIT TON of the outdoor space. Enough concessions have been made to you pansy-asses.. if you don’t like being in one of the last places smoking is allowed, then be a grown up and LEAVE.

  2. Seriously. Go inside where smoking is forbidden if it so offends you. It’s not like you aren’t inhaling a crap load of benzine and other hazardous chemicals from car exhaust during your sidewalk cafe meal anyway. Although I highly suspect you’ll find something to whine about while sitting inside too,

  3. If you are a smoker over 25 years old, you must know that you look like a fucking asshole. And you smell like a meth lab.

  4. Hey, wanna guess how much I care what you think about how I smell? It might be a shock, but I’ve got more on my mind than being approved of by some holier-than-thou kid.

  5. Fine by me, I just wanted you to know that you smell like shit and look like a high school punk doing that. But those rich racists in North Carolina love your money, so keep it up, tool.

  6. I second that emotion!

    No one gives two shakes about your indignation, smelly, nasty, inconsiderate smokers. Stop pretending you’re not doing something noxious and rude.

  7. Yes, I do like to eat. Yes, I do like sun light. And YES! I like to fucking smoke too…Guess what asshole, on behalf of every smoking degenerate who has to huddle over a garbage can like a stray cat…FUCK YOU Back. My rights have been trampled and until I can hit a fat needle of black tar heroine, with my meal, I will continue to pursue my passion of nicotine and annoyance.

  8. I don’t smoke anymore but I love to sit near smokers and walk by them. I miss the smell of cigarettes in the air and on my fingers. Perhaps I am just a weird non-smoker?

    I do however love to smoke a cigarette or two when I drink. And when I get the privilege to walk by someone who gives me a dirty look because I am smoking. I will turn and follow them. Then I will blow my smoke at the back of their heads!

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