Hey, I, Anonymous Blog Editor,

I can’t help but notice that some I, Anonymous Blog entries have “Full of Shit” polls and some do not. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?! Who are you to prejudge whether or not an I, Anonymous blog poster might or might not be Full of Shit, like some one-person I, Anonymous Blog grand jury?! Do you think you’re Nancy Grace or something?!

Here’s an example of why you’re so wrong: neither of the I, Anonymous Blog posts chewing out hippies was deemed to merit a “Full of Shit” poll. Of course I understand your reasoning here: all hippies are Full of Shit, therefore anyone who chews out a hippie can’t be Full of Shit. WRONG! Nobody enjoys chewing out a hippie more than another hippie! They’re the most sanctimonious people on the planet! But were we, the lowly I, Anonymous Blog readers, allowed to weigh in on how Full of Shit the posters were? We were not, and that just plain sucks.

In case you haven’t heard, THIS IS AMERICA! We The People demand to decide how Full of Shit EVERYONE is! THAT’S WHAT MAKES THIS COUNTRY GREAT! Either put a “Full of Shit” poll in every I, Anonymous Blog post, or go back to Russia!

One more thing: tear down the I, Anonymous Chill Out Tent. If anyone reading this section can’t take their I, Anonymous Blog posts undiluted, that person should switch over to the namby-pamby End Hits Blog instead.

8 replies on “You Are 1,000,000% Full of Shit”

  3. I voted infinity % of shit because it’s cool to think about that much shit. On second thought, I definitely agree that THIS IS AMERICA. So I feel a little torn here.

  4. If this guy is full of shit, then I’m a coprophile. I love his shit. I want to eat his shit. I want to put his shit in a blender and make a shit smoothy. I want to freeze his shit and make shitsicles. This shit is good shit. It is, indeed, THE shit.

  5. I know why we have the same poll for every entry (cut and paste time!), but the Full of Shitometer is pretty useless.

    If you’re only going to have one, it should be less shitty, is all I’m saying.

    How long before posts themselves and individual comments have thumbs up/down? If the gilded tumbleweed town known as Questionland can have it, why can’t we?

  6. yep, thumbs up and down is the best way to go, works great and is an instant popularity meter. no voting, no clicking to see results.

  7. Commentary Colin and smallprsn are completely full of shit. What we need is more choices in the full-of-shit-o-meter. For example, the poster of this I, Anon is precisely 18,349.75% full of shit. Why is that not a voting option?

  8. I think the deal is this: many submissions are unworthy of much attention at all. Some are either ridiculously fake or silly, yet well written or with a grain of truth; some are compelling enough to generate real thought and discussion; and some are irksome or offensive enough even for the Merc or the I, Anon editors. These win a shit meter poll. (and hey, Merc, it’s okay to be sensitive… after all, your abrasive irreverence, always looking for a rise? We learned it by reading you.)

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