Sir! While I understand that the Blossoming Lotus sometimes attracts a particularly bothersome Dansko-clad version of aging Baby Boomer, I am AGHAST at your particularly heinous table manners. You, sir, sat 18 inches away from me in the main dining room last night, blowing your nose INTO THE RESTAURANT’S LINENS every 30 seconds, over the course of 45 minutes. Your date (who I hope for her sake is NOT your wife and has reasonable means of escape) sat sullenly across from you in her plum cowl-neck sweater, staring intently/silently out the window each time you let out a tyrannous honk. I imagine that you are so unaware of your heinously stultifying personal habits that you fully expected her to follow you home for some old-person tantric sex after your mint-chocolate soy cream was finished. You, sir, are a pig, and you RUINED MY VEGAN BISQUE.
You Ruined my Vegan Bisque!
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I really hope it was my dad who ruined your vegan bisque.
It seems possible from your physical descriptions, although I think they go to Laughing Planet more often. And I think you are more likely to be forced to engage in a conversation with them than watch them being sullen, but maybe mom was having an off day. Dad certainly sounded gross. Maybe they had a fight about Laughing Planet v. Blossoming Lotus.
Anyway, sorry about my folks. They’re normally pretty awesome.
Yeah, why is it that people with allergies/colds never have tissues with them?
Let me guess. He was bald on top with a creepy gray ponytail … had vaguely hipster glasses from about 1997 with smudges on them … and did the shifty eye thing whenever the waitress walked by. His name is legion in cities like Portland.
This is so “New Portland” Awesome! You sir win this weeks star prize!