I remember when Cat Butt shared a bill with the Cat Heads at Satyricon.
Wait, "Alterna-country" is a genre? Shows you what I know. Score another point for Seattle.
He forgot to boast about having Kenny G.
It's simple: The Wipers. There we win!
But what doesn't get mentioned is what was going on prior to Seattle's big commercial success of the 90s was that people from Seattle would roadtrip by the shitload down to PDX every weekend to catch shows at the Pine St Theater because all ages shows WERE ILLEGAL IN SEATTLE back then!
It would seem that the author is only measuring commercial success and doesn't seem to be giving much credit to bands that have been regarded as influential in their particular sub-genres across a broad span of time and geography. The Wipers Poison Idea, Wehrmacht, Crackerbash and just about any band Fred Cole has played in (Dead Moon, the Rats, etc) are just a few of the bands who may not be "famous" but their records seem to show up in the collections of a number of the Seattle bands mentioned.
Also, why no mention of the best band out of Seattle (in my opinion) the Accused? This guy is tragically underinformed. He should stick to writing reviews of the Lawrence Welk reruns.
Notice how Olympia is just completely left out.
But seriously, this post was hilarious! Thank you.
Desperately reaching for relevance since Seattle has lost much of theirs in the past decade plus.
Check and mute.
@Never Alone: that's because everyone (except Calvin, I guess) moved to Portland.
Does it matter that grunge is the worst music ever? It's the soundtrack of a people angst-ridden by a roaring economy, a world at relative peace, and a president that gets blowies and jams on saxophone. Thanks for ruining my nineties, Seattle. Thanks.
I don't actually care about a Seattle music versus Portland music throwdown. I'm sure they're both lovely and several years behind Brooklyn. I just saw an opportunity to bash grunge and went for it.
Morty beat me to it. Also THE NEO BOYS>Sleater-Kinney, That Riot Grrl Band (Olympia), but I will concede that The Sonics from Tacoma kick more ass than the Kickmen.
Inability to differentiate between "their" and "they're" = not being taken seriously no matter what point you're (or is it your?) trying to make, imbecile.
"no one on earth prefers Tarkio to the Decemberists."

Who on earth likes the Decemberists?
This reminds me of an article I read in a student newspaper on the occasion of "the 30th anniversary of punk." It concluded that the Sex Pistols were better than the Clash.
PiL slays both.
the wipers. that is all.
This argument has always been stupid. Now it's old and stupid.
Oh, ugh, Sister Psychic. I have a bad memory of them playing, not that it was any fault of theirs though.

November 1994 I was living in Bellingham, WA and Grant Hart's band Nova Mob was playing in town. We all showed up, I saw Grant playing pinball.

Sister Psychic comes on and plays, and plays, and plays, and plays. And plays. After 90 minutes of playing they say. "Oh, we are playing a longer set tonight because Nova Mob broke up today". Would have been nice to know that before being out all hours on a weeknight. The next day is when Grant recorded the solo acoustic Ecce Homo CD at the Crocodile.

>>no one on earth prefers Tarkio to the Decemberists.

>Who on earth likes the Decemberists?

Hey, Ezra didn't say anything about *liking* the Decemberists.
I thought Seattle forced all their venues out of business while encouraging paul allen to build that crazy experience music in exchange for only 1 days pay place. Who needs a live band when you can be 10 feet and a velvet rope away from jimi hendrix's guitar.
@14 OTM.

But beyond that, this dude sounds like a joke. And I don't live in or care about either city.
Ordinarily I appreciate your cynicism but your critique of the Wipers and PI is rather limp and woefully contrived. Whether or not the Wipers had a few good songs or a lot of great songs is a matter of opinion we can spend all night arguing. Doesn't matter. My point was the influence The Wipers had on bands coming out of Seattle later on. The fact that Nirvana saw fit to do a cover of "Dimension 7" proves the point.
As far as PI goes you must not have been on board during the "Pick Your King" "Record Collectors" and "Kings of Punk" era of the early to mid 80s with a lean, mean Dean Johnson and Chris Tense on drums and bass and Jerry A. weighing in at a svelt 200(+)lbs. Maybe in your view the only thing PI had going for them was the "fat" schtick, or maybe they just weren't on your radar until later on in their career. Either way that's fine if that's your view. But that comes up way short in explaining why a hardcore band out of a lumberjack town like Portland would be cited as a big influence by bands like Gang Green and The Stoopids. Why would Jeff Dahl/Dead Boys want to record with PI anyway? Because he loves fat guys?
As far as Dead Moon goes, it is easy to see how your dislike for their music would also lead you to fail to appreciate Fred Cole's role as the missing link from the 60s to the present in the in low-fi garage rock genre. Maybe that ain't your cup of tea, but that hardly merits a dismissive poo-pooing.
But, hey, that's just me the dinosaur sticking up for the really ancient stuff. I would agree that the 90s certainly hit some serious ass flat spots. And I admit that this whole bearded, sensitive folk rock thing that the kids are into these days just doesn't float my boat.

I'm just here to nominate Ezra for post of the year (so far) and dimitrir for comment of the year, but for totally different reasons. Thanks.
You had me at "no slouch". Bwahaha!!
"The Wipers had a good few songs and Sage's guitar playing was interesting but they were pretty overrated."

Only a few? More like 3 pristine albums, and a handfull of outrageous EP's and singles. Boxset rules all.

"And I admit that this whole bearded, sensitive folk rock thing that the kids are into these days just doesn't float my boat." Yeah, not all of us are fucking faggots.

And to move on to something more recent, neither Ezzie nor Seattle writer guy have mentioned Danava or the Hunches ferfuckssake! There's also the Hospitals and Meercaz. They both moved to the Bay Area- basically the two guys who were the nuclei of both in the first place- respectively- Adam and Muzz, respectively. Both bands played SICK, far-out rock n' roll music, and both of them deserved praise and didn't get enough of it on account of this town being full of pussies.

I remember hanging out with Muzz and seeing the Caz play out at Slabtown, actually opening for some shitty pop punk band FROM SEATTLE, and blowing them the fuck away. And much as I dig Clay's talent on drums- my favorite line-up was Muzz, Jason $, and Jen. The last time they played seemed like they were going through the motions, but with that line up, they always KILLED. Not to mention when they opened for Danava and Pierced Arrows, when Jesse was bass. And then Danava played with Fred Cole, they rocked out to some old Zipper tunes.

The best show the Hospitals did was at a muff heavy house party near PSU where some dude actually went to a Hospital after cutting his wrist on a light fixture. I remember I was the only one slam dancing- the music was that good. Everyone else was doing the 'fag bop'- that stupid head bopping thing for Olympia, Wa types that are too pussy to have fun. Some dude guy liked my moves and started bro-ing at me, "Yeah bro! Woo!" He even jumped on my back to rough house and I almost fell over. I could've been the one ending up at the Hospital. That was an awesome party for sure, despite the dudebroguy.

But do they have a "Seattle Cello Project"? I think not.
Posse UP! Posse's on Broadwaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy.
Me and kid sensation at home away from home in the black benz limo with a cellular phone. The car is getting crowded its time to get back my hirazi watching tv with 2 girlies on his lap...On Martin Luther King the set looks kind of dead we need a new street, so posse move ahead. The freaks are getting hungry and Mix A Lots treating..Oh Im sorry are you looking for the greatest act from seattle? How bout the presidents of the united states of america??? Respect bitches.
Wait - is Sister Psychic being presented as a "plus" for Seattle music? Seattle music has been full of watered down, poseury fakerock shit-"punk" for years, and Sister Psychic, Cat Butt, Love Battery (barf!) and "Hammerbox, Alcohol Funnycar, The Fall-Outs , Young Fresh Fellows and the Squirrels?" Pardon me, I must upload a healthy serving of "Sister Psychic" down the toiletarium. Sure, Portland had some crappy grunge-lite (I am looking at you, Saliva Tree, New Bad Things and Hazel), but Poison Idea outranks them all, and even if Jerry A is the only extant member still pacing the floorboards while "Marked For Life" blares, they still beat the hell out of the Posies.

I doubt anybody in Seattle has even been playing rocknroll as long as Fred Cole. Wasn't Seattle just an undeveloped wasteland in the sixties, anyway? I mean, the Sonics came from Tacoma. And the Wailers?

Plus, the Mariners stink.
Whoa, whoa, whoa....settle down there city's...both your music sucks equally.
I'll have you know Mr. McGillicuddy, if that is your real name, that Saliva Tree was like the 9th best band to play the DiggeryDoo Fest out at Treblinka Point State Park back in 1993. Too bad there were only 8 bands that played that year. And Hazel could've been the next Nixon Flat but they didn't try hard enough, or maybe tried too hard. At any rate, we all know Rancid Vat's "Burger Belsen" is the greatest album ever made...ever.

You like Korn and believe that George Soros is a Nazi collaborator, therefore your opinion is worth shit.

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