RE: The Mercury’s newest column, “Meet Connor Chadbourne, Fillmore Elementary’s Child Ombudsman” [June 20], in which Chadbourne noted his success in confronting Fillmore Elementary’s lunch lady, Mrs. Penchitt, about students’ complaints she serves fish sticks on Taco Tuesday and tacos on Fish Stick Friday. Mrs. Penchitt informed Chadbourne that if students don’t care for the change, they can “bring their own goddamn lunch” or “run home and suck their mama’s titty.”

Seems to me that Mrs. Penchitt is either Frank Cassano in drag or married to Frank Cassano. If, in fact, they are two people, I suggest they face off in a column mediated by Connor Chadbourne, Child Ombudsman.

Chris Frost

P.S. Can the Baby Namer come back for another round?

CONNOR CHADBOURNE RESPONDS! Thanks for writing in, Chris! Unfortunately, Mrs. Penchitt has banned me from the cafeteria—now I have to eat lunch in the hall, alone—so I was unable to pass along your suggestion. Also, I have no idea who either Frank Cassano or “the Baby Namer” is.


RE: “Federal Officials Tell Portland ICE Protesters They’re Breaking the Law” [Blogtown, June 25]. “Officials with the US Department of Homeland Security (DHS) have informed protesters with Occupy ICE PDX that they’re breaking federal law by camping out in front of a Southwest Portland Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) office,” wrote News Reporter Kelly Kenoyer. “It appears DHS may be reaching a breaking point.”

I guess if you’re fully armed right-wing assholes taking over a federal installation and demanding public land be given to private interests, you’re fine. If you’re blocking an entrance in support of international law, you’re a terrorist.

The Immortal Goon


RE: The Mercury’s coverage of the World Naked Bike Ride, both in print [Things to Do, June 20] and on the Mercury’s Facebook page.

Have u ever seen it? Disgusting, and it’s not necessary to force children to see that. The bike ride does absolutely nothing except allow perverts to expose themselves to others. IT’S FUCKING GROSS AND POINTLESS.

Lindsay Winkle, via Facebook

How does a naked person riding a bike at sundown turn into a pervert? Did I miss the masturbation going on? The ton of erections going by? Didn’t think so. Kids have seen much worse on a daily basis, and I am sure kids don’t line up to watch the parade. “Force” is a strong word to choose, because no one is forcing you to go, watch, or even comment here!

Teri Neeley, via Facebook

Lindsay Winkle you’re weird

Michael Terndrup, via Facebook

AH, FACEBOOK DISCOURSE! Truly, the apex of human interaction. Chris Frost, you win the Mercury’s letter of the week, and two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater! Go see a movie with the Baby Namer, whoever that is.