THE IDIOT’S LIST (DOES NOT EXIST)

DEAR S. HUMPY—I was very entertained to see the argument between some idiot and the editor of your lovely paper regarding the freshness of the “I, Anonymous” articles [“Another High-Minded Debate Between the Editor and a Mercury Reader,” Letters, Jan 5]. In it, Mr. Hump asks if he should post a list of things the idiot should actually give a shit about. If you have it on hand, I am certain that I would love it! Keep up the good work!

-Hank

THIS IS HOW WE DO IT

DEAR MERCURY—Our unprecedented Occupy movement has given the American people a voice for their grievances and for their hopes, and now we have that voice on our side [“It’s Your Occupation, Too!” Feature, Jan 12]. But to keep the public on our side, we must demonstrate that their concerns are our concerns and are being acted upon with wisdom, skill, and urgency. If we are serious about our grievances and truly committed to making this country our own, then We the People must occupy the US Congress. Only by winning a 218-seat majority in the US House of Representatives and a 60-seat filibuster-proof majority in the US Senate will we have the numbers necessary to actually shift power from Wall Street to us. We can either honor ourselves by taking power, or remain on the outside looking in, endlessly reacting, constantly defending ourselves, and forever appealing to corporate politicians.

-Rich Cohen

CULTURE WARS

Now I get it [“Plaid Pantry,” Last Supper, Jan 12, reviewing the Woodsman Tavern]! The whole lumberjack thing, the cheesy faux-folk music that is just a pastoral parody of real folk, these are an assumed hipster identity! These trends are ways that the rootless hipster class establishes an identity of being Portlanders—by expropriating “rustic” tropes. There was this I, Anonymous awhile back about how s/he missed the “old” Portland [“Wherefore Art Thou, Portland?” I, Anonymous, Jan 12]. I tend to agree. There was this really great native Oregonian culture that these implants just never bothered to learn about in their drive to be fashionable and compete with their true compatriots in New York and other “glamour” cities.

-posted by jamdox

All “foodie” culture everywhere in the nation mixes in rustic elements with other things [“Plaid Pantry,” Last Supper, Jan 12, reviewing the Woodsman Tavern]. But say you’re right—what kinds of culture can anyone embrace anymore? No matter what it is, people will say it used to be better, it’s played out, it’s been usurped and corrupted. A single “authentic” Oregonian culture? Never existed. You’re a dupe just like anyone else, except those belonging to actual traditional cultures that cities wiped out a long time ago.

posted by geyser

THE CARPETBAGGERS OF YESTERYEAR

I was born and raised in San Francisco, another city that filled up with carpetbagging doucheholes (including a great many from Portland, Oregon) who raised rents, snatched up jobs, and fornicated my husband [“Wherefore Art Thou, Portland?” I, Anonymous, Jan 12]. I was angry too. When I got older and got cancer, I decided if I survived it might be time to move on. So I did live, and I took my bald, breast-cancer body to Portland to start over and pretend it never happened. I know it’s annoying, I know. But some of us are nice people, and we needed to leave the place that we were for a reason. We like you, and we like your city. Give us a break.

posted by Justice

WELL AT LEAST we like you, Justice, and that’s why you win this week’s letter of the week prize: two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, where you can take in films set in a limitless number of cities, eras, and hipster population levels.

16 replies on “LETTERS TO THE EDITOR”

  1. Geyser its good to know you are still very cynical. A tad over wrought perhaps, but cynical. jamdox, we are not allowed to mention “hipsters” anymore,nor critique them. Did you not get that memo? And yes there was a native Oregonian culture but it did’nt (does’nt) resemble what that IA blog ascribed it to be,sorry.

  3. It’s not cynical to say that calling something culturally “authentic” is like trying to nail jello to a wall, nor to find the concept of “traditional” vague and overused. What’s cynical is perpetually going around saying, “This used to be better, before these new people came in and ruined it just by changing something that should never have been changed.” We like to think of some glorious past that was “the way it was.” There’s long been an element of cultural pastiche and fashion in every city (why should Portland be any exception?) but it doesn’t displace the real.
    But I wanted to note that I did apologize in an immediate follow-up post for the tone of the post that’s in condensed form above (see the “Plaid Pantry” link in the letter above, anyone who may be interested in this little discussion).

  4. geyser actually I did read your post and I agree for the most part. Portland was most certainly different 25 years ago, but was it “better”? That is a matter of opinion. But jamdox is
    ‘nt wrong, quite a bit of it is those dreaded “H******” people with another cultural fuck. Who is to say it is better or worse? And while we are being cordial, can you or anyone else explain this phenomenon of nature (try riding the #4 or #15 bus sometime)-black hoodie/jacket, dark skinny jeans, numerous crappy tattoos, sullen detached look,usually with earphones, smells like utter ARSE. What the hell is it with people not bathing here? And why the hell do they all look the same…its worse than preppies in the 80’s

  5. Can someone please explain to me why so many people in this town, & on this site in particular, are so obsessed with criticizing the way everyone other than themselves chooses to dress, what they eat, what music they listen to, etc. ? One of the great things about Portland is it’s diversity of cultures, subcultures & unique individuals who do their own thing. Why tear down people who aren’t like you? i mean, dissing someone for having gauged ears is the last thing that i expect to read on Portland’s “alternative” rag site. WW exists exactly for those who have such a close-minded world view. It’s kind of sad, really. And it makes me long for a Portland that never was.

  6. “i mean, dissing someone for having gauged ears is the last thing that i expect to read on Portland’s “alternative” rag site.”

    Yeah, i thought this was abit particular myself. People also seem to be utterly obsessed with whether someone has bought clothes from Buffalo Exchange. Of course, ALL these so-called put-downs only take place on-line.

    I know i’ve been guilty of some of this same behavior – but at least I’M bullshitting when i do it. Some here seem to take things too seriously.

  7. Well, i don’t think that our bullshit persona’s need to disappear. But i do think that we, i , should find some balance. Yes? To me, it doesn’t matter as much what other humans are or aren’t doing. What does matter, what affects me & impacts my world, is what i do, think feel & say. And saying it online, in an anonymous forum, does matter.
    i have posted to I,A, Damosa. And what you said about my post really hurt. Like, for real. And it has impacted the way that i have perceived you & hence, interacted with you. It’s not exactly RL, but at what point do we begin to take some responsibility for who we are & what we say online? i don’t mean losing the anonymous aspect, just…personally, when do we start showing our beautiful sides, rather than our 4chan creep?

  8. well whatever IA you wrote, i was probably out of line when i said what ever it was i said. And for the record, i NEVER creep nor post on 4chan! Waaay too many Stormfags.

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