GOOGLE “GULLIBLE”

DEAR MERCURY—In regards to Paul Constant’s review of
Toward 2012 [Books, Feb 12]: Up until now, I naively believed
that Google was just a simple internet search engine. A quick Google
search, and you can apparently find out anything! I’ve read a lot
on 2012, but I was wasting my time. If only I had done a quick Google
search, I would have saved so much time and realized that whole thing
was “dumb bullshit.” Thank you so much, Paul Constant. 

-Brandon Keller

GOING UNDER

GREETINGS—The Columbia River Crossing on I-5 is the worst
bottleneck in the Western United States [“Columbia River Confusion,”
News, Feb 5]. What to do? Make the big project into a series of small
projects. One part of the big plan that is eligible for federal funding
programs is light rail. Right here in Portland we have the machinery,
the highly skilled local work force, and the established infrastructure
to do a light rail system beneath the Columbia River to Vancouver, USA.
We have tunneled beneath the Willamette, we can tunnel beneath the
Columbia. The future of infrastructure in America is underground. Cost
effective and durable, light rail tunnels to Vancouver (near I-5 and
I-205) will alleviate a large portion of the congestion and reduce
the poisonous pollution caused by that congestion. By
utilizing the assets that we have in hand, it is estimated that we can
realize a savings of 25 MILLION DOLLARS or more, and get the project
moving. The time to examine the possibilities is now.

-Stephen Kendall

LIKE A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE

DEAR MERCURY—I know that economic times are hard, but
there are certain transgressions that must not be left unchecked.
Imagine my horror when picking up your paper recently I discovered,
missing, advertisements for not only Counter Media, but also a little
Portland gem by the name of Cindy the Erotic Pleaser. Seeing as the
Mercury auctioned off Cindy pillows a scant few months ago for
charity, and Counter Media routinely runs the lewdest little corner of
your paper, can’t you do her, Counter Media, and the city the favor of
supporting small businesses and bringing them into the Mercury fold?
Oh, and unless this ridiculous Sam Adams witch-hunt unfolds to include
Cindy’s pillows, I’m totes over it.

-Matthew Bird

UM, NO. WE CAN’T DO THAT. But, congratulations to Matthew for
calling attention to the fact that local businesses like the ones you
find in the Merc need the financial support of the still-employed
people of this city. Fewer customers mean less money for ads. Oh! And,
turn to pg. 44 of the paper for reassurance that Cindy is still nestled in the bosom
of our pages, right where she belongs.