Letters to the Editor

DETAILS, DETAILS

DEAR MERCURY—As a former reporter, I hate to be the
bearer of bad news, but I caught a small error in your debt
collection story [“Debt Diggers,” News, March 26]: “Martin hopes a new
bill, which moved out of the Senate committee in Salem last Friday,
March 20, will allow the state to crack down on debt collection
harassment.” The bill passed out of a house committee on March
20—it passed the Senate last month on the 26th. Otherwise I
thought your story was really on-point. 

-Josh

MR. COOLER-THAN-ALL-HELL HENRIKSEN

Are you kidding me [“Disaster Movie,” Film, March 19, in which Film
Editor Erik Henriksen pans Knowing]? Seriously? Mr.
Cooler-Than-All-Hell Henriksen, are you fucking kidding me? Please stop
writing. Today. We don’t need to read your hipster “journalism”
anymore. Really. This was a fascinating, risk-taker of a movie with a
beautiful ending. I mean, seriously? You are that cynical? Have you
ever opened your mind to explore the possibility that humans may have
once interpreted aliens for angels? Are you so bogged down here on
Earth that you can’t even consider a bigger picture? And you piss on a
filmmaker for taking a huge risk by exploring the idea? I’m not saying
Nic Cage was great. He wasn’t. There was room for much improvement,
sure. The script was laughable here and there. But the ending was pure
magic. Yes, yes it was. You are way too closed-minded and are way too
cool for your own good. Snap out of it.

-Posted by Eric3 on portlandmercury.com

JUST ANOTHER NICE SOCCER FAN

DEAR MATT DAVIS C/O THE PORTLAND MERCURY—Your
culminating point against MLS [Major League Soccer] coming to Portland
is because it’s not world-class soccer [“Hall Monitor,” News, March
26]? Who gives a shit? Should Americans just follow the Premier League
because it has more solid clubs? No, because it’s across a fucking
ocean! And we’re fucking Americans! Which brings me to my next point.
Where the fuck do you get off calling a man who doesn’t even live in
Portland (let alone Oregon, the United States, or even on this fucking
continent) to bitch about our club joining the MLS?

-Aaron E.

MATTERS OF LIFE AND DEATH

DEAREST MERCURY—Being a “scofflaw cyclist” myself, I
read your recent account of the Oregon House Transportation Committee’s
political bickerings [“Stop, Collaborate, and Listen,” News, March 26]
with great bemusement and befuddlement. Are these people really
being paid—with our tax dollars—to sit around and discuss
the definitions of “slowing” and “yielding”? Seriously? What’s
next? Discussions about whether an elected official bagpiping a
17-year-old constitutes sex?! It’s all about cyclists and drivers
being safe and nobody getting hurt. This is what really matters. Not
egos, not what’s right or wrong, and not whether it’s written down
somewhere that a cyclist must stop, slow, or yield, in compliance with
law as it applies to some generic situation. When I’m blowing
through stop signs in the crisp breeze of dawn, sans lights or helmet,
swilling from a mug of coffee or beer with my left hand, twittering
sweet tweets with my right, I am always keenly aware of my
environment, tipping my hat and winking to the ladies as I whiz by,
slapping my pal Fortissimo with a high-five as we cross paths (Yo,
Fortissimo!). If I see, hear, feel, or even smell automobiles
nearby I quickly go on high alert, slowing, yielding, and stopping when
necessary. Not because some generic law dictates, but because the
situation warrants it for my safety. This whole notion of “cycling
laws” seems preposterous, not to mention insulting. 

-Chris Lovett

CONGRATULATION TO CHRIS for an imaginative definition of common
sense cycling that does not exclude simultaneous beer drinking and
tweeting. Chris wins two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater (Yo, take
Fortissimo!) and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where even fish ride
bicycles.