GUSHING
RE: “Buffoonery” [Letters, Sept 3], in which reader Tom W. writes in to say that he enjoys Ann Romano’s One Day at a Time column, but when she broaches political topics such as Michael Brown and Ferguson, Missouri, he finds her to be a “buffoon.”
DEAR ANN ROMANO—Upon reading Tom W.’s letter to you, I felt a rush of so many things. I do not find you to be out of your element when discussing politics. That said, this event transcends politics; you can’t read a newspaper, watch the VMAs, or filter through Gawker without Ferguson popping up. The second thing that came to mind was just a lot of gushing to myself about how much I love your column and how little like a buffoon I find you to be. All in all, I just want you to know your column is adored by many amazing people, and Tom W. can go back to yelling at kids to stay off his lawn, or whatever people who don’t know who J Biebs is do.
CJ
MARIJUANA ATTENTION SPAN
RE: “Supply and the Man” [Feature, Sept 3], an analysis of Oregon’s outlook for recreational marijuana legalization by way of the process unfolding in Washington.
DEAR DIRK [VANDERHART]—Thank you so much for your informative, concise article. Growing up in Oregon, I honestly find the legalization question really, really boring now. Somehow you’ve refreshed my interest.
Ted
I’d like a law that simply states, “Steroid-addled pigs cannot throw you in a cage and the justice system cannot ruin your life for using weed, because there’s no reason for that.”
posted by andalso
A BAD WAY OF LIFE
RE: “The Finish Line” [News, Sept 3], regarding police reforms related to excessive use of force against citizens experiencing mental illness.
This isn’t a local problem…. It’s endemic to the entire nation—and as bad as it sounds, when the entire country is policed in this way, it’s more than a policy, it’s a way of life and an accepted mindset. We need better cops and better cop leaders. Not laws or policies that anyone with half an ounce of compassion would just inherently do as a normal part of their psyche.
posted by David A. Pope
PORTLAND IMMIGRATION
RE: “Somewhere Else” [Everything as Fuck, Sept 3], in which columnist Ian Karmel calls for an end to Portlanders complaining about people moving in from elsewhere (like California).
Y’all, California is not Portland. It’s not a li’l niche of meaning and identity. It is a vast and bogglingly diverse place the size of a nation. If your city inspires people to live in it, then, mathematically and geographically, the likelihood is that some of them will come from a nearby, heavily populated area that takes up almost all of the West Coast. Uzbekistan? Or gee, maybe California. The housing market is up, partly due to changes in interest rates, all over the country. The job market is growing much slower than the housing market, again, all over the country. Housing has not recently become more expensive because rich Orange County airheads stole Portland. I came here 20 years ago, and even then, when just about anyone with a checking account could own a 1926 Craftsman bungalow, everybody was slinging this same dumb shit about how Portland had been utterly ruined by all these evil Californians. It’s kind of endearing, in a way, but you’re a real live big city now, and it’s time to eat at the grownup table.
posted by torkfool
POP QUIZ
RE: The Mercury, and some of its unlikelihoods.
DEAR MERCURY—Which of the following would be the least absurd thing to unfold within the pages of your fine publication? (a) Dan Savage writes a guide to cunnilingus, (b) Denis C. Theriault becomes BFFs with Ron Frashour, (c) Humpy grows out of his Bieber phase and discovers a newfound appreciation for Phish, or (d) Ann Romano denounces the invasion of celebrities’ privacy?
Jason
OH! OH! WE KNOW! It’s “b”! Have you ever met Denis? He’s so nice he could be friends with anybody. Do we get a prize? No wait… you do. Have two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater on us, where we’d send any friend of ours.
What can a pissy townie like me say about this? I’ve been in this town my whole life. I used to like it when I was about 13 years old and thought Korn was cool; I’m 28 now and figured out that Portland like Korn also sucks.
Maybe the problem “oldcomers” have with newcomers is that they are loud spoken fake liberals (secret libertarians) that wear their controlling politics on their sleeves.
Sorry to give a little bit of push back on this but the last thing a brown guy like me wants to hear is that Portland is better than anywhere else considering that I have and will continued to be hassled and profiled by the racist ass Portland Police, be given shit service at hip dive bars in my gentrified old ‘hood cause I wear a Blazers’ Jersey rather than a Timbers scarf, and told to hold my tongue by a bunch of drunk hipsters when I tell ya’ll how you are directly contributing to a perpetuation of the same busted ass bourgeois system that has been in place in Portland, Oregon for the last 100 years.
Do you all know that Portland ends at 162nd, not 82nd? Quit voting down taxes for Portland Public Schools and quit talking shit on poor people that live in Gresham, they’re just people trying to get by. Thats why we don’t like ya’ll. Thanks for not having kids. See you next rant…. Pricks.