RUINED MORNINGS
RE: “Too Close to Home” [Letters, Nov 4], in which a reader gloats about having gotten in on Portland homeownership while it was cheap to do so, and an advertisement submitted by a local bar.
DEAR MERCURYโShame on you for awarding NAWD the letter of the week last week. If this sort of ugly, mean-spirited self-righteousness is what we consider “assertiveness” that deserves reward, then this city truly has gone to shit. That letter ruined my fucking morning.
Jeff
DEAR MERCURYโI was truly disappointed to see the full-page ad for a bar in last week’s issue that showed a woman going down on a man, apparently because of the allure he possessed for working there. This showed poor taste on the part of the establishment that created the ad, and poor form on the part of the Mercury for running it. You both should be ashamed.
Justine Pope
PHISH TURDS
RE: All-Ages Action! [Music, Nov 4], a preview of the week’s all-ages shows, including an appearance by the Trey Anastasio Band (AKA the lead guitarist of Phish).
WOW, MORGAN TROPER! Your brilliantly undereducated [snippet] on Trey Band was exceptionally terrible. First of all, thank you for referencing the most mainstream [Grateful] Dead album of all time to sound relevant. Oh and by the way it’s “WOOKS” not “Wookie.” Your overall lack of knowledge is breathtaking. Did you even attempt to look into the caliber of musicians in this ensemble? Any critic would appreciate the accolades these musicians have attained. Did you know that the bassist in this band played with the Mamas and the Papas? Or that the percussionist has recorded with Herbie Hancock, Yo-Yo Ma, and has won two Grammys? This is less about Trey and Phish, and more about you doing your fucking job correctly. Turd.ย
Suzy Greenberg
B26 POSIVIBES
RE: “Portland’s Most Haunted New Developments” [the Mercury‘s Annual Halloween Dress-Up issue, Oct 28, in which we spoofed our recent feature Newcomers’ Guide to Portland, Sept 16], featuring E Burnside’s B26 development in an article that was obviously a joke.
MEGAN BURBANKโI was really surprised by your article. Everyone I have met who lives here is great! When my lady and I were looking for apartments, we looked at 15 places over three days, 13 were apartment buildings, and maybe 10 were brand-new high-rises. All of them were similar in price (above $1,100) and in space (small), but B26 seemed the best because it had a more community feel to the building than other places. The shared rooftop happy hour on the weekends with free beer was definitely a selling point! When you, the Mercury, or any publication demonizes people because of where they live, how is that any different than any other kind of discrimination? If the complaint is that the rent is too high, I agree, but why does it matter to you? It’s almost my whole problem with the “hipster” attitude: “I have been doing XYZ cool thing forever and now everyone is into XYZ, making it no longer cool for me.” Portland is an amazing city, and all of us newcomers are here because we want to live and thrive in this beautiful city, not bring it down. I don’t want to spend time hunting for a dingy apartment in a rundown part of town to prove how “real” I am. Burnside 26 is the nicest place I have lived, and it’s annoying to hear people who don’t even live here hate it so much. If you want to complain that B26 doesn’t offer free beer every day and closes the roof deck at midnight, I’ll join right in with you! So let’s just chill out. Portland may be known for rain, but I would appreciate if you wouldn’t keep raining on my PDX parade.
Jay
BACK IN OLDE PORTLAND, people had a sense of humor, Jay. But no hard feelings: We’ll even give you this week’s letter of the week prize of two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, which is just a few doors down from where you live, and is a great example of a longstanding institution that gives a Portland neighborhood its flavor. Enjoy!

“The abomination known as Burnside 26 (2625 E Burnside, get it? LOL) is definitely the most haunted development (and not just by terrible personalities, though watch out for those, ’cause, YIKES)”
Go ahead and give me shit for this, but that last line wasn’t a fucking joke. Maybe ease up on your hatefulness toward all these people you’re mad at because of an article I wrote five months ago?
Tyler, go back to writing pot reviews. It seems to be the only thing you’re remotely competent at, since it only requires a fondness for getting stoned and a belief that your observations about getting stoned merit the attention of others.
Also, unlike Tyler’s whining, I suspect Jay’s letter is meant to be ironic. I’d hate to think that anyone would use the phrases “my lady and I” and “raining on my PDX parade,” or complain about not getting free beer every day non-ironically. If not, then it serves as proof that Megan’s article was spot-on in its characterization of the people who choose to live at Burnside 26.
I find it difficult to understand the self-righteousness surrounding people criticizing those living at Burnside 26, though it ain’t my own ideal either.
Jesus Christ, Tyler Hurst is the most humorless shit for brains asshole. He is the PRIMARY reason why everyone thinks the residents of B26 are fucktards.
“Portland is an amazing city, and all of us newcomers are here because we want to live and thrive in this beautiful city, not bring it down.”
You’re failing.
Nice, Hurst is trolling comments in other paper’s articles now!
“Humorless” sounds a lot like calling someone “too sensitive” as you’re tearing them apart.
tyler , don’t you have a dog to walk or craft bere to sample?
It’s possible to have a sense of humor and still think y’all were floggin’ a dead horse in leggins with this latest B26 bit.
Melogna – nope, just asking that the Merc and anonymous commenters let it go.
Clifton – just walked my dog and I can’t drink beer, but that sure was a sick burn.
Dudley Heinsbergen: [pointing at the battered Gypsy Cab] “That cab has a dent in it.”
Megan, Tyler, Graham. Basically, all the same person. Really enjoying watching this snake eat its tail.
Penis
If you think the syphilis in Portland is bad,just wait until you get the Tyler Herps!
Definitely not gonna fuck ya, Joe.
Come on Tyler, look at that rack in joe’s pic!
The roof top party at B26 is the D-bag Kardashian culture people came here to get away from. Go have that shit in Vegas. People are coming here because they love it so much, then stop turning it into every other town.