OUT WITH COUCH

DEAR MERCURY—I suggest that we lay off North Portland
street name changes and instead recommend we change Couch to
Chávez [“Name Dropping,” News, Sept 20]. Reasoning: (1)
apparently we don’t pronounce it correctly anyway, (2) it would give
the people at the Henry something else to get fired up about, (3) we
are going to be redoing the street (coupling or decoupling), and (4)
perhaps in a hundred years they will be pronouncing it “Chayvis” Street
anyway.

Scott M.

MEAN STREETS

[Below is a comment left on a Blogtown, PDX posting that
announced the 64-10 vote of the Arbor Lodge Neighborhood Association
opposing the name change of Interstate Avenue. The following is in
reaction to an earlier comment suggesting that opponents of the change
were guilty of underlying anti-Hispanic sentiments. Weigh in for
yourself at blogtown.portlandmercury.com]

Marissa’s comments are just jaw dropping. I can see why she was
nearly reduced to tears, what with all the big, mean, bad crackers
suggesting renaming parks and buildings and endlessly expressing their
respect toward both the man and the culture being represented. Well,
gee, I guess we should just start basing all civic planning on
feelings. Here’s mine: I’m gay and the fact that there isn’t a Matthew
Shepard Freeway makes me feel really sad and bad. So change the 5 to
the “Matthew Shepard Blessed Martyr Expressway” right now or I will
know you for the obvious, clear and demonstrable homophones you
are!

Posted by ENV

 

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT…

DEAR MERCURY—Your Butter Hogs article mentioned Country
Crock as a descriptor of butter several times, and showed photos of
Randy Leonard loading up his basket with Gold-n-Soft and sitting in a
vehicle with more non-butter products [“Butter Hogs XXVI,” Feature,
Sept 20]. FYI: Margarine is not butter. Was this part of the
satire—to joke on Willamette Week‘s poor reporting? Or
could it be that you are simply “fucking imbeciles”?

Lou Valkenaar

VEGANS HOG BUTTER, TOO!

TO THE MERCURY: I really
enjoyed your Butter Hogs article [“Butter Hogs XXVI,” Feature, Sept
20], outing the filthiest butter-hoggers in the city. I must say,
though, that I was greatly offended at your lack of diversity. Since
Portland is consistently ranked among the top vegan-friendly cities in
the nation, it is an egregious blunder to leave vegan butter hogs out
of the mix! These butter hogs slather the artificial yellow stuff on
any food item they can find to scarf down, from waffles to Fakin’
Bacon.

Concerned Citizen

MATT WAS ON VACATION

DEAR MERCURY—I want the calories back that I expended
while leafing through the last issue of this paper, looking for
something readable. It was the anniversary of James Chasse’s murder by
the police. So where were you, Matt Davis? Scott Moore couldn’t
transcend his own privilege or boring, formulaic style to write an
intuitive article [“One Year Later,” News, Sept 20]. He ignored the
context and implications of the murder for those most frequently
targeted by our brutal and prejudiced police force AND forgot about the
contingent (larger than you’d expect) of black-clad anarchists who need
their weekly anti-cop fix. Folks brought flowers and candles and an
illegal memorial to set up at the site of Chasse’s death, and a woman
stood at the corner of NW 13th and Everett all day with anti-police
brutality signs. All week there were anti-cop fliers around town and on
the news boxes. This is quite clearly bigger than a simple police
accountability issue. Please come back, Matt Davis. Another week of
bland shit in this paper and we won’t be able to read on.

Julia

KEEP PORTLAND’S BEARD

FRANK CASSANO—You fat fucking imbecile [“Grin and Beard It!”,
New Column, Sept 20]. It should be obvious to you, and your lustrous
beard, that the name for your new column needs to be, “Keep Portland’s
Beard.”

David Whipple

CONGRATULATIONS TO DAVID for his contribution to the brainstorm
of titles for Frank Cassano’s new hit column about beards. This is a
community paper, and your suggestions are always welcome. So… David
wins two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go
Fish!, where your suggestions may be somewhat less welcome.