SCIENTOLOGISTS DON’T TIP

DEAR MERCURY—Barbara Hogan’s letter crying about Ann
[Romano]’s treatment of Scientology demonstrates everything that’s
wrong with Americans and the supposed nature of political correctness
[Letters, May 29, in reference to ongoing Scientology coverage in One
Day at a Time]. No one’s protected from words, no one should be.
Playing the victim-hood card doesn’t make you guys victims. Oh, and by
the way, I worked at that Coffee People by your “celebrity” center, and
all the people who used to come in can go fuck themselves. You all
dressed the same, had the same crazy gleam in your eyes, and never
tipped.

Mitchel Knight

DUCK, DUCK…

DEAR MERCURY—At one point in my life I was sympathetic
to the cause of animal rights. I respect vegans/vegetarians—it’s
a tough lifestyle, but saying you are morally superior is tantamount to
Christians converting the heathens. Your lifestyle is a culture
unto itself. It doesn’t take into account poverty; most of the
world is forced to eat meat because that’s all they have access to.
Foie gras is different, obviously, because it costs quite a bit [“Foie
Gras Protests Resume in Portland,” Last Supper, May 22]. But it’s
still a culture issue.  Forcing this dish out of Portland
won’t make it go away. 

Chad Simmons

IS IT THAT OBVIOUS?

DEAR MERCURY—What’s up with letting Marjorie Skinner
review Sex and the City [“No Boys Allowed,” Film, May 29]? She
obviously has a vagina. That’s like letting John McCain review
Rambo, or letting Stephen Hawking review The Diving Bell and
the Butterfly. And I thought you were a progressive rag.

 Sherman

WOULD THAT MAKE US MIDDLE EAST CORRESPONDENTS?

HELLO—My lady friend and I are moving from North Portland to
Northeast (right down the street from your office, actually) and we’ve
decided that a more fitting name for our new neighborhood would be…
The Middle East. I think that Sandy Boulevard really helps my
cause.

Alexis

DEPRESSIVELY ILLIN’

DEAR MERCURY—I moved to Portland in 2003 with money in
my pocket from working in another state. Over time, I came to realize
that Portland, as a city, has a depressive illness. Talking about
“livability” is one thing, but I would like to point out to the
mayor-elect that livability is not just about free streetcar zones and
friendly people and nice parks, it’s also about the ability to MAKE A
LIVING WHERE YOU LIVE. I love and adore Portland, but when my old boss
called from another state and offered me $65,000 a year with benefits
and commission, well, after five years, I had to call it a day. New
taxes are not the answer, and neither is the hipster attitude that
anyone who questions being underpaid is somehow disloyal to the city,
or doesn’t belong there. There are only so many California retirees and
Intel employees who can pay the bills for everyone….

Jeffrey Gillespie

WISHFUL THINKING

DEAR MERCURY—The only reason I can figure that you guys
are still allowing Andrew R Tonry to write embarrassing, self-indulgent
articles on topics ranging from his explorations of “What Is (and
Isn’t) Music?” [Once More with Feeling, March 27] and his latest
discoveries in hiphop is that perhaps he is not a twentysomething
Portland resident, but rather a 14-year-old Make-a-Wish Foundation kid
from the Midwest whose aspiration was to one day become a music
journalist. Keep up the humanitarian efforts, Mercury!

Keira

UMM… SKIP PG. 5

DEAR MERCURY—I wanted to take a second and thank you for
your un-bureaucratic approach to the news. With all the bullshit that
is considered news these days, the Portland Mercury is a breath
of fresh air for all of us who could care less about Paris, Nicole, and
Lindsay. 

M

WOW, WE SO RARELY get sincerely positive letters to the editor
for no apparent reason at all that we’ve almost no choice but to give
“M” the letter of the week! Just, like, don’t worry about that Ann
Romano column on pg. 5. Start on pg. 6. Yeah, that’s when it gets good.
M wins two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go
Fish!, which is also where it gets good.