Because the news reports are far more entertaining than the white stuff falling from the sky…

KGW is running with a graphic screaming “ARCTIC BLAST,” as anchor Brenda Braxton talks about being a “city girl” who needs four wheel drive AND chains on all four tires just to survive. They keep checking in with a very verbose reporter—Drew Carney, I think—stationed at a Les Schwab to keep an eye on those snow tires.

On KPTV, a reporter in Gateway says “we’re waiting for some actual snow to fall… you can’t see, but I’ve got my fingers crossed in my mitten.” There’s no ARCTIC BLASTOMG, just a WEATHER ALERT in ominous red letters. A reporter in the west hills notes that his “cup runneth over” with “a little snow.”

KATU checks in with Melica Johnson in Salem—part of the Storm TRACKER Weather Team—standing on a “trouble spot” hill that hasn’t seen any flakes yet. “This was the last pair of winter gloves at Fred Meyer here in Salem,” she says, waving her black-clad hand at the camera. Brian Barker is in Portland at Les Schwab on NE 29th and Sandy, where he’s been stationed “for four and a half hours now,” and he reports that NE Sandy is still passable. “If you need to get to your local tire store, better do it now.” Yes, quick! Drop a few hundred bucks on snow tires that are total overkill on most city streets.

Reporting live from my couch in NE Portland. Back to you.

4 replies on “A Survey of This Morning’s OMGSNOW TV News”

  2. Arctic Blast 08 Diary:

    Day Three: Food is low but moral is high. Sandy Blvd. is still passable. The reality however is setting in. Our group today is getting weaker by the hour. We turned back from our original route to Crema instead backtracking to Bakery Bar on Glissan. The wifi seems to be strong here, and so are the americano.

  4. Isn’t ARCTIC BLAST a chewing-gum or toothpaste flavor or something? Doesn’t sound very intimidating. I suggest, the DOOM CHILL. Wait, no. “Chill” has benign connotations. ehh. Find. ARCTIC BLAST it is.

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